Is an Elegy

"I'm sorry" is easy to say when you've got arms to find solace in and lips to get drunk on I remain ink-stained, disdained, ingrained Are you feeling entertained? I used to wonder what the pain was like when my father's heart exploded Common art sold it but this won't settle for silence Now I'm volatile with self-violence Trust me, even patience wouldn't try this venerable eye-sense Since I found a beat left dying on the street And took her home to pen-stitch the bleeding rhythm She'd been selling ism And we shared stories of correlating detonated coronaries It's beyond scary But fear is the little death and I'm no muad'dib You colonized my Arrakis Helpless melange addict with the right tactic and the wrong practice Faulty emotional stillsuit left me dehydrated and rapless Let the desert have me I didn't know it was the last kiss You never told me it was the last kiss You never told me shit So now you're gone I'll play the solo solar soldier that's eternally ignited So now where's your coal (Gone) to hell in an old soul It cannot burn like this Trial by nostalgia Like it's all love, all over, all just I guess I'm all folding because God knows I can't deal holding sole trust Thought I was quicksilver but its gold rush Beat my cold crush into the promised land I took a last stand before that promise banned I tried to show promise jazz but it wandered past my thumb And I hitched a ride alone to strife's home A microphone, a pen, and bad company to keep Some things seem to seep out your pores Embedded too deep to be indebted to speak I'll be better next week In the bed where you freak I'm dead as text Believe me it's not the sex No pity please No patronizing subtlety suffering me No laughing irony publicly comedy tragically badgering my process of not mastering loss yet (This) game set (to) match (light) At least give me enough cash to get back... right? Airport sadness, indeed Cause I train MC's in ways of emitting verbal rays But this shit's got me busted Like mass transience... or transcendence We all gotta transcend Gotta transcend Gotta transcend Better a brother or father? At least you kept it in the family And I shouldn't have assumed That, as moons rise, only astute eyes see My mindscape's tenements bathed in light Project-laden fright See, night is the time I place self-wrought wooden dowels Between street signs so as to build thought-ladders The rungs, my lungs, exhale into you Admittedly codependent What makes it worse are the love-locks I built in front of the gateway With each day I add a level But your skeleton key sees through it all with those three words So why keep building? If distance is the answer I can fake it And call it ascension A.K.A. not giving attention to how I really feel And I don't even know what that rung is My greatest regret was not making this ladder/letter for two I am what I write, and I wrote this all about you I'm all about you I'm all about you I'm all about... you