Where Was Heaven

* - a different version is on The Swarm Vol. 1 [Myalansky] This goes out to all my cats in the projects Just livin it, still livin it Thru the rough times and the bad times The crimes, where was heaven Must be somewhere here, though, for real I never seen the place Maybe some place you got when you die An ordinary cat from outta projects, since I was younger though Mom raised her children, pops dipped a long time ago In my mind I see flashbacks, I had no fancy clothes Skinny, ugly, knotty head nigga crying with a snotty nose Even though my father neglect, he pay the child support Hadn't seen him all these years, I hug his ass in court Always saying I'm comin to get you and I be waitin too Holiday and birthday presents was never comin through Remember at the age 13 I started smokin weed Hanging out with cats that was older, start to run the street Dropped out of high school selling drugs, impressin chicks Spent most my cheddar on gear, my man was buyin whips New York, Jamaican, Miami niggas, flooded Virginia quick Co-signin work only if buying, prices was high as shit Remember when I first got hit, I seen the iron spit 50 cats bendin one corner bleeding where pellet hit My man Shawn, he held on strong Slug burn through his lower back side, crack his spine exit his arm Lost him twice on the hospital table and when he died I cried my eyes out I couldn't take it (damn damn), but the same things continued to happen Niggas got bust, I'm a kid with a grown man's mind turning corrupt Playing innocent in front of my elders I was running with them cats that be robbing too, I couldn't tell 'em If my name was up in any type trouble, my moms would tell me Just like you brothers into some shit go get a job or something Just a little bum on the street, not working hard for nothing Scratch I made when I was pumpin, I hit her off wit somethin Making sure the crib stay tight, for real I wasn't no dummy Tell me where you getting this money, By washin cars be lying Saying anything 'sides drugs selling, my sister seen me on the block Transact' with fiends, be saying I'mma tell it Growing up was hell no doubt, I wonder where was heaven (women singing in the background) Shit, it's like yesterday, you know? It all comes back though, but still But still livin on the block, but still fucked up You know? Crime affiliated, Crime Syndicate Whatever you wanna call it You know what I'm sayin? Affiliated with the bad shit All the time just cuz I'm a victim of the projects Now I'm a grown man, still It's like life dealt me the wrong hand Cat's that was my man be frontin' or either found dead It sounds sad incarcerated just turned a new Dad Remembering them long ten months from slingin crack bags Mom put me out with the quickness, carry your black ass I'm still coming back to the crib, oh so you back? yeah Ma' I just came to holler at you, see how you doing Nothing's changed after all these years Still hustle for some gear, smoke weed, still drink beers I tell you from my heart, yo, 'times I'm like yeah I wonder if heaven was a place in this planet You'd find me right there Where was heaven