Good Friday

If you grew up with white boys Who only look at black and Puerto Rican porno Cuz they want something that their dad don't got Then you know where you're at Mortaring your ear holes shut In a rush with wet coke In a Starbucks bathroom with the door closed On booze some left in residue and confused Like the first time you used soft water Down on my luck caught unaware Like Houdini when the last fist struck (Chorus) Sinking in laughing at something sunken in I am If I'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in I am If I'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in I am Sucking dick for drink tickets At the free bar at my cousin's Bat Mitzvah Cutting the punchline and it ain't no joke Devoid of all hope circus mirrors and pot smoke Picking fights on dyke night with shirleys and loccs And snatching purses Doing Elton at karaoke and forgettin all the verses Blowing kisses to disinterested bitches Playing lead lay in a bad way on broadway Sending sexy SMSes to my ex's new man Cuz I can On the road trying to break an old van Eating pussy for new fans I am What the hell Using Purell til my hands bleed and swell Missing Mel at a motel 6 I'm unwell if (Chorus) Feels exciting touching your handwriting Getting horny by reading it and repeating "poor me" Intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker At the R. Crumb exhibit I wonder who's sicker Jerking off in an art museum john til my dick hurts The kind of shit I won't admit to my headshrinker Not even in a whisper to my own little sister I just act like a dick and talk shit when I'm with her Aught Six I say the Friday before Easter was not good I cried to myself in the pisser And with you in the front row of the Silver Jews show You may act like you didn't notice My fear of the bear at Showbiz Pizza when I was six Was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this (Chorus) At Jacob Hand's on tour I wake up hungover on a hardwood floor From a dream about your dress Hangs off of your little breasts I'd rather be dead Than call this song how I lost your respect But God bless or get neglected (2x muted) And I'll see you when the sun sets east Don't forget me