KATNISS vs HERMIONE: Princess Rap Battle

[Verse 1: KATNISS] I’m Katniss and I can’t miss, I’m the fastest, you can’t catch this Make a last wish gonna need three cannons for this hat trick So sick of your schtick, all I do is win, you nitpick That’s why I’m the hero and you’re just a sidekick Pathetic and predictable I’m hot on your trail Coulda had a Viktor, but you chose ginger fail? I bet with wands drawn, he’s still just a yawn With performances worse than Michael Gambon Got a Nimbus up your butt? Well, let’s probe deeper Never played quidditch but you know I’m a keeper You must be drunk on butterbeer, now grab a cloak and disappear Who wants to kick this witch’s ass? Hmm I volunteer! [Verse 2: HERMIONE] Oh, there’ll be no trouble ‘cause on stage you struggle I’ll be charming and disarming while I waste this rubbish Muggle I’ll end this blasted skrewt, propaganda prostitute Who thinks she’s so cute with her Girl Scout salute Just a tribute, can’t decide which guy’s sweeter Share your bread with Gale, then stuff your mouth with Peeta How does it help the poor to start a civil war? Your story’s a bore, why don’t you plagiarize more? It’s been done before, ask Dumbledore It’s Battle Royale set in 1984 And furthermore if you’re keeping score that’s five more points for GRYFFINDOR! [Verse 3: KATNISS] I’ll drill this dentists’ daughter here in her alma mater ‘bout to slaughter this otter, even Potter knows I’m hotter I stomp career jocks, kick your British buttocks For this Riddle, second fiddle, you’re the Watson to his Sherlock Turn back the clocks, tick tock, tick tock Odds ever in my favor ‘cause you rap like an Avox Shock the mic like a wire, you’ll fry and die on a pyre ‘cause you’re gonna get burned by the girl on fire! [Verse 4: HERMIONE] On fire? Oh! Just like your dad Or the hospital you visited to film a quick ad I’ve got the cortex to ace my subjects I got that bad blood while you run with rejects These coal miner rednecks need reality checks You’re just another pawn in the military complex A fashion figurehead for the underfed Brilliant, you survived! But Rue’s still dead [Verse 5: KATNISS] The difference between you and me is book knowledge and street smarts Step to the Mockingjay you’ll end up with scar marks It’s like you’re hijacked, you’re mental, delirious We find it funny, but you’re dead Sirius I’m the pro with a bow and the flow to overthrow Mr. Snow and his whole freaking reality show Little miss perfect, though what’s truly twisted On your parents’ happiest day they forgot you existed [Verse 6: HERMIONE] I bust bars like Haymitch, the smartest witch, I own this bitch Hey, how are you still hungry in that beefcake sandwich? Fraud wedding, fake baby, and your flames don’t exist So-called star-crossed lovers need a camera to kiss I sling unforgettable verses like unforgiveable curses What’s worse is your universe isn’t immersive Your glory’s only temporary, your country is a mortuary Next on your itinerary: Kill yourself, eat the berries