Why Does This Always Happen To Me?

I was watching my TV one night When they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were 30,000 crushed to death Even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2 And I said "God, please answer me one question Why'd they have to interrupt the Simpsons just for this? What a drag, cause I was taping it and everything Now I have to wait for the rerun To see the part of the show I missed Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) I was driving down the highway When all the traffic slowed to a crawl There was a 12 car pile up: Everybody dead And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head And I thought "Oh, Rob. I just had lunch with him... Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money, what a jerk Well there's 5 bucks im never gonna see again Plus, on top of everything else, it looks like im gonna be late to work Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) Oh, the other day my boss said we were running low on toner And he told me I should buy another case Well I told him I was busy But he still just kept on asking So I turned around and stabbed him in the face Oh and wouldn't ya know it: My knife got stuck I guess thats probably bound to happen now and then But im afraid I may have bent the tip a little And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)