Whatever You Like

[Intro: Weird Al Yankovic] Hey girl, you know our economy's in the toilet But I'm still gonna treat you right I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) Yeah, yeah [Hook One] Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice And we can clip coupons all night And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) Yeah, yeah Take you out for dinner, anywhere that you please Like Burger King or Mickey D's And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can even have the large fries (large fries) Yeah, yeah [Verse One] Baby you should know I am really quite a sweet guy When I buy you bathroom tissue I always get the two-ply Want it, you can get it, my dear I got my Costco membership card right here Yeah you like Top Ramen, need Top Ramen Got a cupboard full of 'em, I'll keep 'em comin You want it, I got it, go get it, just heat it Dump the flavor packet on it and eat it [Hook Two] Pork and beans and Minute Rice And we can play Cribbage all night And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) Yeah, yeah I can take you to the laundromat downtown And watch all the clothes go 'round and 'round And baby we can go wherever you like (if you like) I said we can go wherever you like (if you like) Yeah, yeah [Verse Two] Hottest shorty I know, if you had some lipo' You could be second-runner-up Miss Ohio Seven dollar bills rolled up inside my plastic billfold Buy you a bagel even if it isn't day old And you never ever gotta wear your sister's old clothes As long as I'm still assistant manager at Kinko's Cut your hair with scissors and a soup bowl You ain't got to pay me, that's the way that I roll My chick can have want she wants At Wal*Mart she can pick out anything she want I know girl you ain't never had a man like that Who doesn't make you buy generic brand like that Yeah you like my Hyundai, see my Hyundai I can take you to see your cousin Phil next Sunday But that's kind of far and I'm not made of cash Do you think you could chip in for gas? [Hook Three] Mac and cheese would be all right But let's send out for pizza tonight And you can order any toppings you like (if you like) I said you can even have the last slice (last slice) Yeah, yeah Ran myself a cable from my neighbor next do' Now I can get free HBO And baby you can watch whatever you like (if you like) I said you can watch whatever you like (if you like) Yeah, yeah [Verse Four] And you can always ride the city bus Got a stack of tokens just for us Yo my wallet's fat, and full of ones It's all about the Washingtons, that's right You want White Castle, need White Castle Long as you got me it won't be no hassle You want it, we'll get it, just don't be a hater If I grab a bunch of napkins for later [Hook Four] Thrift store jeans on sale half-price The underwear at Goodwill is nice And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) Yeah, yeah Baby, I can give you anything you please Even share my government cheese And baby you can have as much as you like (if you like) I said you can have as much as you like (if you like) Yeah, yeah