Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

[Verse 1] Oh, the sand keeps falling through the hourglass And there's no way you're gonna slow it down You say we gotta treasure each moment Who knows how long we're gonna be around? Yeah, you keep on telling me life is short And it's hard to disagree with what you say But if time is so precious Why are you wasting mine? Cause I'm always reading, always deleting Every piece of useless garbage you send my way Every stupid hoax All those corny jokes Stop forwarding that crap to me Well i don't need tons Of cringe-inducing puns Stop forwarding that crap to me No it isn't okay If you brighten my day With some cut and pasted Hackneyed Hallmark poetry And I didn't request A personality test Stop forwarding that crap to me You're sending: Virus Laden Bandwidth Hogging Attachments To every single person you know You're passing around a link to some dumb thing on youtube That everybody else already saw 3 years ago And wacky badly photoshopped Billboards Were never that amusing to me And i just can't believe you believe those urban legends But i have high hopes Someone'll point you toward Snopes And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly No i don't wanna bowl Of Chicken Soup For The Soul Stop forwarding that crap to me Send more top 10 lists And I'll slash my wrists Please Stop forwarding that crap to me Well I'm sorry i can't Accept your paranoid rants And i don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe Would you kindly refrain Because its hurting my brain Stop forwarding that crap to me Like glittery hearts and unicorns And pictures of somebody's cat Tell me in what alternate reality Would I care about something like that? Oh and by the way your quotes from George Carlin Arent really George Carlin Mr. Rogers never fought the Vietcong And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing And i highly doubt some dead girl's gonna kill me If i don't pass your letter along Now i know you're wishing That i'll sign your petition But stop forwarding that crap to me And I don't wanna read your series Of conspiracy theories Just Stop forwarding that crap to me And your 2 million loser friends Have my address now Because you never figured out the way to BCC Now i gotta insist Take me off your list Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me (JUST STOP IT NOW) Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me (OH NOOOO!) Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me (I CANT TAKE IT) Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me (STOP IT RIGHT NOW) Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me Stop forwarding that crap to me