Jerry Springer

[Chorus] Its been one week since we got to see Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry Five days since they had the show With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho Three days since we heard the tale About the guy who learned his woman was a She-Male Yesterday it occurred to me That iv'e been watching a bit too much Jerry Springer [Verse 1] Holy Cow! Did you see it last week? Well they had this one freak Who suckerpunched his whole family Do your recall when the brawl Became a total free for all? And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee Hey see the stripper with the implants? She likes to lap dance And date the boyfriend of her mother And now here comes Jerry's next guest And its a slugfest Cause it's her trailer trash brother Nymphomaniac is back on crack Its like "When Animals Attack!" They all exhibit reprehensible behavior Hit 'em in the nose Tear off their clothes Step on their toes Thats how it goes They get so violent they have to sign a waiver They always swearin, cursin, kicking butt, and pointing blame On the air? They dont care they got no shame There was this one guy who im sure felt a little strange When he found out that his wife had a sex change They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly They have a history of ripping off their shirts [Chorus] Its been one week since they had the fight With the Siamese twins and the transvestite Five days since that awful brawl They still haven't got the blood off the wall Its been three days since the bitter feud Between the KKK and that gay Jewish Black Dude Yesterday it finally dawned on me Im spending way too much time on that Jerry Springer [Skit] Guy: baby, iv'e been sleeping with your sister Woman: Oh? Well which one? Guy:...all of them Woman: Oh! Well iv'e been sleeping with your best friend, Jake! Guy:..oh yeah?! Well, me too! Woman: Gasps Guy: And Iv'e been sleeping with your dog Woofie! Woman: Oh! Woofie You B****! Well im also sleeping with your pet goat! Guy: That goat doesnt love you! [Verse 3] Once you start watchin' theres just no stoppin' Your brain shuts down then your IQ's droppin' Jerry's the king of confrontation He's a sensation He puts the Sin in Syndication Its totally worthless, like a bad check Its like a train wreck Dont wanna stare but you can't look away Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows But with more weridos The ratings jumpin' higher everyday If you've seen the show, well then you know Its just as low as you can go The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene And pretty soon some ugly goon Comes in the room and then its BOOM Int he face of some unsuspecting Drag Queen Well its the kinda show where people scream Obscenities Yankin' hair, Throwin chairs at their hubbies "JERRY! JERRY!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant Should i turn off my TV? I just can't! I have a tendency to watch it religiously I have a history of taping each one [Chorus] Its been one week since the show about Psycho Killers with problems they shoudl work out Five days since the big surprise When some loser's wife says she's still dating 20 guys Three days since he interviewed A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude Yesterday it occured to me That iv'e been watching a bit too much Jerry Springer [Outro] Tired of wasting my time on that Jerry Springer Iv'e got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer Come over here and pull on my finger