If That Isn't Love

[Verse 1] I'm your shelter from the storm You know I'll always have your back I'll even let you warm Your freezing hands inside my butt crack I never get out My leaf blower when Oprah is on When you're telling me about your feelings I try not to yawn [Pre-Chorus] And when we're at parties I don't talk about your spastic bladder When you're cleaning the gutters on the roof I'll hold the ladder [Chorus] And if that isn't love If that isn't love If that isn't love I don't know what love is Oh I guess I don't know Ooh... listen now... [Verse 2] There's a microscopic bit of milk left In the refrigerator I could have finished it off but I quit in case you Wanna tiny little sip later And if you cut the cheese then maybe I'll even say, "The dogs to blame!" And I make sure to call you "Baby" Every time I forget your name [Pre-Chorus] I'll even tell you, girl When you start looking fat Cause all your so-called friends Will probably neglect to mention that [Chorus] And if that isn't love If that isn't love If that isn't love I don't know what love is Well then I don't know Ohh no... [Bridge] Even though you make me sit through Mama Mia But I still adore you I'll kiss you if you've even had omelette for breakfast Then I guess that's omelettes And after I take a bath, if it's still warm I'll leave the water in there for you I give you my word You're so beautiful You make a glory of sunset Look like a big fat turd, yeah [Verse 3] Every time I see you trying To lift some really heavy things You can always count on me to help By saying something encouraging If you get drunk and pass out I never Sharpie on your face And I don't wipe my nose on your couch Even though that's a super convenient place [Pre-Chorus] I totally support Every idiotic thing you do And I almost never pretend you're someone else When I'm making out with you [Chorus 2] And if that isn't love If that isn't love If that isn't love I don't know what love is No I don't know what love is Well I don't know what love is I don't know what love is