Craigslist

Whoa, yeah! You've got a '65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive A custom paint job, too I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist! I'm on Craiglist, baby, come on! Yeah Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall I never took a chance Never approached you at all You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed On Craigslist! Yeah, Craigslist, come on! I'm on Craigslist Oh, baby, maybe you are too! Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo! An open letter to the snotty barista At the Coffee Bean on San Vacente Boulevard: I know there were twenty people behind me in line But I was on a cell phone call with my mother Didn't you see me hold up my index finger? That means, "I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes" So, what's with the attitude, lady? No tip for you! Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts You can have 'em for free You can drop by on the weekend And pick 'em up from me But the trash can ain't part of the deal Only givin' you the peanuts Get real! Don't have no Hefty bag, so bring your own Don't bug me with questions on the phone Don't ask for help, don't waste my time And don't complain, cause they won't cost you a dime Just ask yourself: Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have my Styrofoam peanuts Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have them all They're on Craigslist, yeah! Craigslist! Ow, baby, come on! I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist! I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now Craigslist!