CNR

Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm telling you the man was insane He could rip out your beating heart, and show it to you before you died Everyday he' make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene Ninja warrior, master of disguise He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeah Oh yeah He had his own line at the DMV He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee Oh yeah Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings As a potent aphrodisiac He ran a four minute mile blindfolded With an engine block strapped to his back He could eat more frozen waffles Then any other man I know Once he fell off the Chrysler building And he barely even stubbed his toe Had a tiny little scratch on his toe Didn't even hurt Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul I've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen whole He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's cape But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR No, no, no Talkin' about CNR