The U.S.S. Make Shit Up

I was stranded on a planet, just me and Spock We met a nasty Nazi alien, he locked our asses up We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head! Bust a move, Tog I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me His eyes were full of tears, he said, "Captain, can't you see? The ship is gonna blow, do something, I beseech!" I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up Though he's just a child, and some think him a twit Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space Now if only he could beam those pimples off his face And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knee And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space The wormhole's opened up and now they come from near and far We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar What is with the Klingons? Remember, in the day They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans, they pose no threat to us Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door When suddently it dawned on me I've seen this show before Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space" We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us Cause if we find we're in a bind we'll just make some shit up Well now they got a new show And it's called Enterprise And it takes place a hundred years Before Kirk was alive They say that it's a prequel Or so that's what it's called It's such a bad idea you'd swear that Lucas was involved They have a Vulcan female And she's a nervous wreck Her ass is sweet as Seven's only green So what the heck They're in the past but Klingons have those lobsters on their heads I'm more confused than Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us Cause if we find we're in a bind we'll just make some shit up Well, it seems the bigwig up at Paramount Must have felt the franchise was stale by all accounts 'Coz they hierd J.J. Abrams to give the thing a shove I fear he would mock and mangle everything we love Well, I went to the movies and there, much to my shock There were hunky models playing Kirk and Spock Vulcan's been destroyed and the time line has been crushed So some one tell me why I love this film so fucking much] And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us Cause if we find we're in a bind--we're totally screwed but never mind-- We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some shit up