The Trouble with Tribbles

I worked on a garbage skowl Near the Neutral Zone And I'm sure you've heard What occurs When a fella is alone Well, I was mighty lonely there Till I met a man named Jones And he sold me a muff Covered in fluff So I wouldn't have to Spank my bone So grab your self a tribble And then you're good to go If you've got enough Quadrotriticale You'll have an endless Supply of hoes I grabbed myself some vaseline And slathered up my pole But the trouble with these tribbles They're fuzzy and they're cute But I can never find the hole They're fuzzy and they're cute But he can never find the hole! That mate there is Scotty He's our chief engineer And he's never had a ho Cause most don't know He's queer as Vulcan beer! I caught him with some tribbles I said 'man are you dumb? Hear my song, you're doing it wrong' He was shoving them up his bum! Get your self a tribble And then you're good to go If you've got enough Quadrotriticale You'll have an endless Supply of hoes I grabbed myself some vaseline And slathered up my pole But the trouble with these tribbles They're fuzzy and they're cute But I can never find the hole They're fuzzy and they're cute But he can never find the hole! Klingon captain Koloth He's mean as he is shrewd And on shore leave, he got us peeved Because he's very rude We beamed all of our tribbles To Koloth and his crew But from the yells we couldn't tell Just who was raping who! Get your self a tribble And then you're good to go If you've got enough Quadrotriticale You'll have an endless Supply of hoes I grabbed myself some vaseline And slathered up my pole But the trouble with these tribbles They're fuzzy and they're cute But I can never find the hole They're fuzzy and they're cute But he can never find the hole! Bones says these critters are all pregnant when they're born I had just one now I've a thousand maybe more! I've got so many now, I know just what to do I think I'll start an interstellar heavy petting zoo! I was on K7 when I saw Mr. Jones And I gave him what for and said what's more I'm here to pick a bone That tribble that you sold me It didn't have a hole to screw "You dope," he said, "You don't screw them! You let those things screw you!" So get yourself a tribble And then your good to go If you have enough quadrotriticale You'll have a dozen of them in your hole! Grab myself self some Vaseline and Slather up my rump Cause the nice things bout these tribbles They're fuzzy and they're cute And you can put em in your bum They're fuzzy and they're cute And you can put em in your bum So go back to your quarters And on your bunk you lay You hope and pray that on our way We pass a bird of prey Tribbles hate the Klingons They really make 'em go They get irate and they vibrate Up in your heiney hole! So get yourself a tribble And then you're good to go If you have enough quadrotriticale You'll have a dozen of them in your hole! I grab self some Vaseline and Slather up my rump The nice things bout these tribbles They're fuzzy and they're cute And you can put em in your bum They're fuzzy and they're cute And you can put em in your bum These tribbles boldly going, up in your frackin' hole!