These Are the Tales

[Too $hort] These are the tales These are the tales that I tell so well (tune in to the history channel) These are the tales (learn a lesson biatch) These are the tales that I tell so well (Short Dog) I'm thinkin' way back, it's been a long long time In 1980 I wrote my first rhyme I like to spit a lot of game But back then, I was just sayin' my name I had a record player, on my stereo Got down on my knees with my radio From Oakland California with some new shit I'm Sir Too $hort I'm bout to do this In 1981, that's where it all begun We do it for the money we don't rap for fun Five dolla's fo' a tape, Too $hort and Freddy B Money in my pocket's all I ever need It was me, Fred B, and Freddy Brack Dipped the sermon sticks then we smoked them phat While we rapped about the bitches and all the ho's Can't be in the hole tryin' to ball without vogues In '82 you was in the game With a Falcon, Cougar or a Mustang Me and Freddy B used to hit the turfs With a bag of tapes puttin in work, Biatch In '83 you hit a house party A dolla' get you in and a dolla' fo' a drink I'm on the turntable smokin' get-right And at mid-night I'll be rappin' on the mic I did the same thang, for the next two years That's why they say my name, when I come through here When I was 16, I want'd to be a mack I went to Fremont High with Lil' D and Black Young ballers in the town livin' real phat Never had the sack but I smoked a little crack Crushed up in the weed, we call em bass rock Caddies Goin' on them grimmies make them ho's call me daddy [Hook] These are the tales, these are the tales that I tell so well These are the tales, these are the tales that I tell so well [Too $hort] It's been 15 years since that shit happened But Too $hort don't stop rappin' In '85, I was on the right page Ten thousand niggas, $hort live on stage Underground tapes was all they ever heard But the whole crowd sang along with me word for word And that changed everything Went to Seventy Five Girls and hooked up with Dean Real player-ism and that's no joke Snort a lot of coke with ho's that like to smoke I was makin' records but wasn't makin' money You can take it seriously or you can think its funny By '87, I was on my own, started Dangerous Music And I made the song "These are the tales, the freaky tales" No radio or video or CD sales Six platinums in a row Ice Cube and Cool J Who else did that shit? $hort Dog from the Bay These ho's try to play it safe But I been mackin' hard since eighty-eight And from eighty-nine to ninety-six I was rappin' on the mic talkin' shit about a bitch I'll retire 10 times and I'll still be here My old records sell about a half a mil' a year I say "bitch get naked" so pimpishly Spit rhymes through decades and centuries And bitches just love my dirty mouth When I see you again I'mma cuss you out, BIATCH! That's my gift, now all you rappers get to say that shit I won't sue you, but that's the trademark I was a grown ass man when you was playin' in the park lil' nigga [Hook] [Too $hort] Now I'm in Atlanta I still love the O I gave you my bitch but you can't have my flow I guest appeared on 47 albums Fuck McDonalds and fuck Calvin I get money with Erick Sermon when I'm in New York I get respect, they call me Too $hort I live swell in A.T.L. cause I'm a player We fuckin' hella ho's at X House in Decatur where it's greater You know how we ride I got love for all niggas from the EastSide It was me, Ant Banks and Shorty B All we need to do is find my nigga PeeWee We used to be on Murdel Street makin' funky songs If you see him tell him Short said its back on Lets get this money, midwest down South East coast West coast ride out, BIATCH [Too $hort talking over Hook] That's my gift to rap, you can have that word Say bitch all you want, all you regular fake ass niggas You finally get to have Too $hort's bitch, trick [Hook]