Man Up

[Intro] Man, if you know me you know this is not some shit I like to talk about, but I figure, if it can help someone else out maybe it might be a good thing to do. So, I'm going to go in to some stuff that kind of personal. I hope it helps somebody [Verse 1] My father was elusive mostly cause he was abusive Pulling knives out on my mother rageaholic undisputed Did a tour in Vietnam... had these issues with his mom And feeling like he wasn't wanted did his way of thinking harm I guess the things he must have saw really stuck up in to his craw From my perspective didn’t like him thought his heart was black as tar My mother had to leave him for fear that one day he’d kill us all Without the money he brought in financially we start to fall This is a common occurrence the type of disturbance Of many of my peers back then and did the family such disservice No form of support... financially or otherwise Just lots of drama shaping how the world is seen through children’s eyes No correspondence with him heard he moved up to New Jersey Started preaching for some church... yeah that right you heard me The next time I saw him it was in the city morgue Drunk himself to death I guess that’s just was the path that he was on [Intermission] I don't know why you produced 'em if you didn't know how you were going to provide for them. You should be ashamed of yourself. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I don't know if I can restrain myself because this is the number one problem in the black community [Verse 2] Guess my resentment denied me any type of contentment So I grew rowdy and sullen with no sign of repentance Running the street a lot with lots of other broken kids Acting like I had no conscious or a single fuck to give Momma was just trying to live and keep a roof over our heads So lots of times she can’t keep track of all the things her sons ever did So we had brushes with the law for having guns and stealing cars But never hustled drugs because somehow I thought that went too far After she had left my dad my mother met another man and And even though he was a good one I just really couldn’t stand em I felt like who the hell are you to tell me what the fuck to do You’re not my father as if my father was someone cool I’m looking back on all that foolishness regretting now Because my step father loved us that’s why he stuck around And his example’s the reason I am the man I am Him and grandad: the only men that ever gave a damn [Intermission] The reason I say that; seventy percent of those children who are without a father, boys in particular, end up in the criminal justice system. Seventy percent of them. And you're contributing to that. You are providing that stereotype that people like to put on black men. They say they be having these babies... [Verse 3] I had a baby at the same age that my father was The mother of my little girl must have ran out of love Cause not long after that she felt like that she had to split And left me standing with betrayal and feelings of abandonment Yo I was so fucking pissed and angry thoughts would cloud my mind And all that hate was corrosive brain felt on fire all the time Through all of that though I would never walk out on my child And leave her fatherless to roam this fucked up planet in the wild So despite the rage I had to keep the monster caged Refused to go out like my father did... there is no fucking way! And in a weird sort of sense his life inspired me hence Cause that example kept me far enough from out the abyss Left that old grudge behind dead and kept it mostly buried Because that burden got too heavy for my mind to carry I just know that if my family’s straight I’m gonna win They'll never say those things about me that I said about him [Outro] You're also a big part of your children. If any of them do not succeed in life and are not able to work themselves out of poverty who are having behavioral problems... don't puff your chest out and lift your head up! You should be ashamed, not proud. Standing there trying to feel loud. You should be ashamed. You should feel that you are contributing to the downfall of black people in general. You