The Monkey That Became President

[Verse:] I was there on the day the monkey came into this world His face was round and reddish and his hair was slightly curled He didn't look too different from the others I had seen Who'd-a-thought he was the answer to the nation's dream? At first he didn't seem to be intelligent at all Each time he'd start to walk about he'd stumble and he'd fall My first impression was to be a most mistaken thought Lord a'mighty, what's this little hairy monkey wrought? Because I witnessed his departure from his mother's womb I felt inclined to check his progress every afternoon One day the keeper of the zoo called in the live TV Frankly said, "I think you'll be amazed at what you see" The monkey walked and talked and waved his arms about his head In the corner was the stack of books that he had read "An Educated Monkey!", said the papers 'cross the land It was more than weary sociologists could stand Oh, his fame was universal, he was on the Carson show People talked about him kindly everywhere he'd go His insight was amazing, his philosophy was fair He became a politician welcome everywhere His wit was not to be compared with any mind intact He'd lace a phrase with irony and blend it all with fact Conservatives applauded and the liberals were entranced The bigots and the integrationists were in his camp Nobody dared to meet him in an open press debate He was nominated by the folks from every state Yes, a monkey was the President, though maybe not the first And there was peace and harmony throughout the universe The dream I had last night has been related as it came As for interpretation, well, it's really very plain Would you rather have a monkey up in Washington, D.C Or have those people making monkeys out of you and me?