The Adventures Of Linda Bohannon

[Verse:] In a town about the size of a truck-stop or bigger Lived Linda Bohannon, a natural queen She lived with her folks in a little white farmhouse She helped out by hoeing the corn and the beans Sometimes she would stare at herself in a mirror And any would say, there was much to admire Every turn of the curve of her body was flawless From pretty white teeth to her shiny blond hair One day, as she stood by the road leading westward In blue jeans and t-shirt and mail-order boots The tractors and trailers and pick-ups, saw Linda The drivers all slowed down to holler and hoot They received, not a smile from miss Linda Bohannon No bag and no brush did she hold in her hand Just Linda Bohannon, a physical treasure Stepped into a light-blue Mercedes Benz And this is one of those times That we wish we knew the missing parts to these stories But this is all we know She was missing a week and her parents were worried She called Sunday morning and said, "I'm okay" Well, Bohannons don't talk much, but we found out later She called from a movie star's house in L.A She's home now and been here for six years or seven She brought home a baby, a fine-looking lad Well Bohannons don't talk much, and Linda don't either And nobody told us a thing about his dad Well she's pretty as ever and she works in a gift shop Looks after her boy and she don't ask for help She watches the re-runs of an old TV western And the boy looks a lot like a re-run himself