Smut

[Spoken Introduction] I do have a cause, though, it is obscenity. I'm for it! Thank you. Unfortunately, the civil liberties types who are Fighting this issue have to fight it, owing to the nature Of the laws, as a matter of freedom of speech and stifling Of free expression and so on. But we know what's really involved: Dirty books are fun! That's all there is to it. But you can't Get up in a court and say that, I suppose. It's simply a matter Of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed by The Constitution, unfortunately. Anyway, since people seem To be marching for their causes these days, I have here a march For mine. It's called: Smut! Give me smut And nothing but! A dirty novel I can't shut If it's uncut And unsubt- le I've never quibbled If it was ribald I would devour where others merely nibbled As the judge remarked the day that he Acquitted my Aunt Hortense: "To be smut It must be ut- Terly without redeeming social importance." Por- Nographic pictures I adore Indecent magazines galore I like them more If they're hard core (Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties Samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!) Stories of tortures Used by debauchers Lurid, licentious, and vile Make me smile Novels that pander To my taste for candor Give me a pleasure sublime (Let's face it, I love slime.) All books can be indecent books Though recent books are bolder For filth (I'm glad to say) is in The mind of the beholder When correctly viewed Everything is lewd (I could tell you things about Peter Pan And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man!) I thrill To any book like Fanny Hill And I suppose I always will If it is swill And really fil Thy Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately? I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley But now they're trying to take it all Away from us unless We take a stand, and hand in hand We fight for freedom of the press In other words Smut! (I love it) Ah, the adventures of a slut Oh, I'm a market they can't glut I don't know what Compares with smut Hip hip hooray! Let's hear it for the Supreme Court! Don't let them take it away!