The Coming Home Party

I used to be the first to laugh When Mrs. Jennings took a bath And left the window open for the neighbors But had we looked, we might have seen That she was really very clean And given her the credit of her labors And Mr. Jennings, where was he? The man that we had asked to see And who were we to think that it was funny When as she raised her glass she said she wasn't sure He might be dead, or somewhere making love to all his money She held her breath expectantly While everybody stared at me As I approached to greet Miss Mary Blooming (hello) I tweaked her nose and kissed the tip I wiped the powder from my lip And just because I did, it left her fuming I almost gave myself away when Captain Graves came up to say... Glad to see me home and he was tickled And now I'm sure I had excused the way I used to be abused It was worth it all to see him tickled Ha ha ha! He he he! Ooh! The atmosphere was getting thick, the guy beside me looking sick I would've helped, at least I thought I ought to He flashed me an appearing grin, I stopped and took the feeling in I wasn't sure, but something told me not to I knew I couldn't take much more, I started making for the door And as I passed my date, I let her kiss me I grabbed my coat and stepped outside I stuck my thumb out for a ride Departing knowing they would never miss me (Nighty night, little angels! Nighty night.)