Pour Me

I wonder where it started, I guess my dearly departed Grandfather used to be an alcoholic And honestly it doesn’t even matter what you call it ‘cause liquor’s half the reason I be emptying my wallet Used to say the city’s killing me, but maybe something’s willing me From within to keep drinking all this mother fucking henessy And I’m in party after party, let’s all get wasted Bottle after bottle, fuck outta here with your chasers We drink it straight, to feel the whole weight ‘cause if you’ve ever had too much shit on your plate You would see that my mind’s in a pitiful state So we don’t chase drinks ‘cause we’re chasing escape And it might be too late, but still we try ‘cause a party’s just a slow form of suicide But grandfather wasn’t partying That shit was an addiction that could have did him and Lottie in And I miss them, that’s why I’m still that 9 year old Who got that call, and eyes got swole, filled with tears and lost control And I was never quite the same again But it’s not like I was running towards the Jameson It just found me, so the bottle’s our connection And I don’t want to let go but I can feel my liver stressin’ like I’ve been drinking too much Drinking, drinking too much I’ve been drinking too much Drinking, drinking too much I’ve drinking too much Drinking, drinking too much I’ve been drinking too much But too much just ain’t enough I keep on running like I’m tryna catch tomorrow Like I’m terrified my future’s at the bottom of a bottle So please save me, I’m still that little boy, see I’m drowning, in the drinks you’ll never pour me They say blame it on the liquor, well I ain’t ignorant nigga It ain’t just my grandad, I’m chasing when times were simpler Back before the blogs ever had a take on my songs And way before my family had to scrape to keep the lights on The pressure’s constricting just like a python And I’ll never be a diamond, so one more push and this pipe’s gone Of course I’m gonna sink, gonna buy another drink Til I fucking black out ‘cause I don’t really want to think And I know that shit is wrong but I drink it til it’s gone ‘cause it’s hard to put it down when you know you’re all alone So I write a little note that’s addressed to my friends To apologize for the drunk texts that I send ‘cause I know that they’re real but I swear they pretend And secretly, silently pray for my end And it may just come, but if Harvey kicked it and skipped his son Then I’ve already seen this battle won And though I know I’m not close to done with liquor I’m at least starting to listen to my liver, like