War Of The Sexes

[Intro] I dream that one day I'll have a child And that child will say to me "dad, what was war?" But it's not going to happen! [Hook] It's a war of the sexes never get it blurred I beg that you learn cause she's cleverer How attracted to you she is to you is partly your gab But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have Oi, the reason girls flirt is to work out their worth Whereas men just hanker for the panky to happen Retain this fact I'm hammering, this fact is gonna matter What little you think you're letting by her sly She senses you're near her and smells your desire The general rule of mine: her intellect will be higher Your task is to make her notice you fast but hanker when you don't close in after She knows she can get most dudes but she mustn't know about you If you screw this all up and then lose all your cool That's when she ends up liking you as a friend You're not playing hard to get You're playing at not getting a hard-on yet [Hook] And you wanna know what, listen The answer is to get close enough to her but listen The next thing you just totally blank her You think I'm fucking mad don't ya but I don't shag on my own Get somewhere close to the lamb but then glance and turn to the man You need to be near to the lamb but she doesn't want to feel cramped Instead of cowering up to the hostile lamb bowl up to the trusting man It's much easier talking to him, he doesn't suspect you want anything Just tell him something like: "Did you know cigarette lighters were invented before matches?" It's ABC making a he break with glee Cause he isn't suspicious you're trying to muscle into his misses Do you know what I'm talking about that's why I'm talking about [Hook] The woman is a highly socially-practiced Master in body language, dab-handed actress She's calculating all the mad facts and the figures While you're pretending to listen staring at her tits [Hook: Repeat x2] Elementary, my dear cousin (elementary) I cannot state this enough She must not clock your flop You can't placard your march Your threws seclude your moves Or you're colluding well weapon [Hook] And remember not to get hammered either Cause people who get hammered don't get to nail!