King Of The Road

Trailers for sale or rent Rooms to let, fifty cents No phone, no pool, no pets I ain't got no cigarettes Ah, but..two hours of pushin' broom Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room I'm a man of means by no means King of the road Third boxcar, midnight train Destination... Bangor, Maine Old worn out clothes and shoes I don't pay no union dues I smoke old stogies I have found Short, but not too big around I'm a man of means by no means King of the road I know every engineer on every train All of their children, and all of their names And every handout in every town And every lock that ain't locked When no one's around I sing Trailers for sale or rent Rooms to let, fifty cents No phone, no pool, no pets (If we're lucky folks, he might finish) I ain't got no cigarettes I smoke old stogies I have found Short, but not too big around (Wait until he finds out he's not sitting down) I'm a man of means by no means Queen of the road! King of the road King of the road King of the road Thankyou very much, thankyou. No I'm not through, I'm just starting Jack! This surprised me too, boy! I ain't even got my shorts on backwards. Drink! Oh this is just a gag, I don't drink anymore. I freeze it now and I eat it like a popsicle. You just remember a drink never hurt nobody at all, just remember the great words of mister Joe E Lewis, he said "you're not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on". "How would you know?" Joe and I were over in my den one morning, swimming, and he mixed himself a peculiar drink. I looked down at him and said "what you drinking down there, Joe?". And he looked down at me, and he said "Scotch and carrot juice". I said "Why?", he said "I get drunk, but I see good". You know I wanna say one thing in all seriousness. I feel sorry for you people who don't drink. Cause when you wake up in the morning, that's as good as you're gonna feel all day! Well they're all waiting to come on, lets do six or seven more then we'll come right off