Tosspint

Tosspint rises early Sprung from a nightmare's claw Thrice crows the dawn cock The mist is on the moor Tosspint cries from croaking gills Thank God I'm not forsaken From the hellish depths of sleep At last I am awaken Tosspint flushed his kidneys And rained a golden shower Pleased to piss a good pot full He shat upon the hour Tosspint filled his belly With tripe and ox's tongue A sucking pig stuffed with figs Into his guts he flung Full belly and the dance is merry Where hunger reigns no strength obtains The wheel spins, the gurdy hums Ring the bells and beat the drum Tosspint drinks lustily And pees against the sun All around the hoary oak The laughing maidens run Tosspint warms his codpiece To the flour adds the yeast In the field by Tanner's Mill He plays to two-backed beast Twist the spigot, close the hole Stoke the fire and blow the coal The wheel spins, the gurdy hums Ring the bells and beat the drum Full belly and the dance is merry Where hunger reigns no strength obtains The wheel spins, the gurdy hums Ring the bells and beat the drum Tosspint fell foul of dogma And slipped into schism The trial was quick, the sky grew dark They led him from the prison Tied him to a stake of oak Lit a fire of wood and coke The crowd sang out "His bacon's smoked!" The bells rang out "Tosspint's croaked!" Tosspint under flaming sky Walks through the fires of Hell Where bestial demons threw the damned Screaming as they fell Into pits of burning coals Tosspint throws up his last bowl And mingled with the soup His soul Tosspint rises early Sprung from a nightmare's claw Thrice crows the dawn cock The mist is on the moor Twist the spigot, close the hole Stoke the fire and blow the coal The wheel spins, the gurdy hums Ring the bells and beat the drum