(Secret Track)

[Introduction] - Hi, this is Nathaniel and Johann from the Beards - Yes, thank you for listening to The Beard Album - Which is now finished, this is now officially the bonus track - It is, ahh it was pretty good though, that album. Ahem, we are quite good at writing songs about beards, but what you probably don't know is that occasionally we'll write song that is not quite beardy enough and doesn't make the final cut - So here's a sample of some of the songs, that didn't make it onto The Beard Album - Enjoy! [Song 1] I got married to my beard My mother was in tears The wedding cake had hair in it And the wedding band was shit They played Nutbush City Limits I fucking hate that song They played Blame it on the Boogie They kept getting the chords all wrong And my beard and I we slow danced As the band played some James Blunt Let me tell you what I think of that guy He’s a... [Song 2] I got my beard caught in the toaster again CAUGHT IN THE TOASTER AGAIN I got my beard caught in the screen door again CAUGHT IN THE SCREEN DOOR AGAIN [Song 3] Mmm, yeah, beards, check it out I came out of the womb with a boom Tellin’ everyone in the room I’m gonna grow a beard soon And I did. Now I got a real good beard It’s right here on my face not a hair out of place Do you want a taste? Mmm it tastes good My beard is really good. Good! Good! Good! Having a beard is quite good [Song 4] Baby I love you, I love you But I love my beard so much more Oh baby I love you, I love you But if I had to choose between you and my beard, baby, you’d be out the door You know you’re pretty good for a woman, but there’s something else in my life Because baby you’re just not a beard and that cuts me like a knife You know I love you baby But I love my beard a whole lot more Some folks say I have a beard... [Song 5] CAUGHT IN THE WHIPPER SNIPPER AGAIN [Song 6] A beardless man told me to get fucked Just the other day I turned to walk towards him He ran the other way And he ran into some traffic And he got hit by a hatchback So I fled the scene and I assume that he’s okay