Mario 3

W-We're back in this bitch (You know we're scratching that itch) I'll throw a turtle shell up at you and I'll bust your lip Third game, and fuck getting old All we do is fart and curse, so fuck it, we're golden The king has been transformed, and Toads are calling Now I'm in the Grass Land, and Luigi's following We're in the Grass Land (You're in the Grass Land) I got cash in my hand (Got that cash in your hand) And I'm rolling up coins for that ass I got fifteen cents, and you're all getting smashed (You know, cause we're swag and stuff.) (So cool.) (We're getting crunk or whatever.) Oh no, Desert Land (Why's it gotta be so hot out here?) This shit's getting out of hand (Most certainly!) The sun, not my friend (Oh god, why me?) The fun just never ends (Come on!) Larry and Morton and Wendy O Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, and Ludwig (Fo' sho') They got brand new wands and shit Taking over castles, real pains in the ass-tle I'm back putting my suspenders on Gonna dust off my cap, shit, I'll fly through the air Just like a raccoon, leaving Koopalings doomed Choking on fucking Goomba Boot stew We will stomp your face (That's right!) Into outer space That don't make no sense Mario Bros., represent (Yes it does) (Oh, great. Italians.) The name's Toad, you can call me Toad You're up in my house now, my little humble abode Ain't got no guest bed, guest room, not even a guest chair No bathroom, just the three wooden chests there So, let me guess: You're gonna take my best shit And peace out like "what?", nah, kick it with me for a bit In this kingdom, I'm largely ignored But, yo, I got more cribs than a maternity ward I got homes and hoes in each world, widespread Yeah, the ladies love my big old mushroom head You want to have some fun? Let me spin you some cards My minigames bring all the boys to the yard But what I really hope you get is nothing at all You want to rob Toad's house? Yeah, you can suck my tiny balls (Ba-balls) Swing your arms from side to side (I'm doing it!) Take a dump in your pants (I'm not doing it!) Take a step, and back again That's the Mario dance Come on! I'm c-c-crushing in this boot Couldn't run and lost my Frog Suit Find a secret block and put this whistle on a long toot Ghosts are coming at me, gonna look 'em in the eyes Don't you know I'm going on a boot ride? (Yeah!) Check it out, I got the boot (Yes you do!) Take a walk on your face (Fucking stomping 'em!) Don't you know I got the boot? (Most certainly!) Put you back in your place (W-w-wasted!) Hopping around (The boot!) Stomping the ground (The boot!) Taking you down (The boot!) Four hundred pounds (The boot!) "Actually, that's a shoe." (The shoe!) Nobody cares! (The boot!) Hey, look at that, I got a star, yeah! (Smoke weed everyday) (I'll Duane "The Rock" Johnson.) (Dude!) ("Dude", what?) (Really?) (What, are you mad, bro?) (I'm not even mad.) (Well, I'm sorry, brah, but it looks like I'm about to take you to Suplex City, bitch!) I say, I say, I say Why you taking my star from me? You got twenty-nine lives, man, I only got three Man, that's bologna, your stats are below me I'll stick a feather in your cap and I'll call it rigatoni (You would call it rigatoni, you fat fuck.) (Ah, c'mon, man, I'm not even fat! I've just got a lot of big bones.) (Yeah, that's cause you're in the dog house. Learn how to string a rhyme together, fucko.) (Oh, yeah, so original.) Hit the POW Block, flip the spiked turtles over Gonna hit it right back, and I'll take out your shoulder bone Cut it out, you fucker, just leave me alone I'm gonna jump on your parietal lobe You fucking motherfucker! (Heh, Lisa Loeb.) (Smoke weed everyday) Wait a minute, there's a secret in this tunnel Nope, Piranha Plant, you're no fun Rock a Tanooki like I did it for nookie A falling statue in the air like "You fell and you shook me!" I'm the mustached plumber, fucking pummel the sun I'll fuck your mama in the butthole and go out for a fun run He's on a fun run! (I'm on a fun run!) I know that! I'm not a dumb-dumb! Rocking this motherfucker, destroying this place John Leguizamo, no 'stache on my face I got my Hammer Suit, implied facepalm and steady And I'm a-throwing shit up like Mom's spaghetti (It's ready!) (Booty, booty, booty) (No!) (My fellow Koopas, the time for change is upon us!) (The time has come to take back what is rightfully ours!) (The time has come to take back the Mushroom Kingdom!) (We will conquer all who oppose us!) (We will never give up! We will never surrender!) (We will clean our teeth on the bones of our enemies!) (Can you dig it?) (Weed everyday) Larry, you do nothing Nothing, you do I'm gonna do you like a mid-level boss and not even mention you Morton's fat, what you think about that? I would have hit him three times, but he collapsed and had a heart attack Hey there, Wendy, save those hoops for your mama I'mma warp past the castle to avoid the drama, bitch Iggy, you're a nerd with a fat head (Iggy, you're a nerd with a fat head) Roy, I'll royally rumble your face right now Leave you rolling like a tumbleweed, tumbling down Took down Lemmy, it wasn't even a brawl Sorry, little buddy, hate to burst your balls And then there's Ludwig, he doesn't even amuse me He ain't nothing but a double-stomping-ass Gary Busey (Randy!) (What are you doing?) (Hey, Randy!) (Come on! Really?) Hey, Toadstool, look at me, I made it to the castle (Waffles) There wasn't no Thwomps or falling blocks on the screen I couldn't handle (Waffles) Still coming with a fireball in my hand Would have had the Hammer Suit, but damn the Ice Land Now to King Koopa's lair with a smile on my face And Luigi, he's my right hand man Oh my gosh (Waffles) Oh my gosh (Waffles) We're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game We're not like the others who get all the fame The kingdom is safe, except World Three Fuck that level, big fish scare me You kidnapped the princess (You done fucked up!) Now we're coming for your motherfucking dinosaur nuts Picking up coins, It's time to get paid If I wasn't out here I'd be out getting Koopa's coming for ya, I'd rather just ignore ya Why don't you retire, take your fat ass to Florida You freaking retard idiot fag Fat motherfucking dick-licking shit in a bag You fucking asshole, cocksucking bitch-ass ho I'll fuck your fucking shit ass, bitch, fuck the floor You're jumping on the ground, you're about to fall through Iggy must've got his fat head from you It's time to save the Princess, get out of my way And then Luigi jumped in and saved the day (Hey! Bullshit!) (Hooray for Luigi!) (Where my chicken wings?)