Final Fantasy

Once upon a time in the land of Melmond, the splendor of vegetation decayed (C'mon) It was prophesized that four stunning Light Warriors would come and save the day (W-What-What) Arriving in Coneria, in the midst of their deliria, four motherfuckers emerged (Hell yeah) To teach a valued lesson, better count your blessings at the beating that's about to occur (Here we go) I am the fighter (The name's Dune!) I'm the leader of the gang Can't use any magic, but I'm critically acclaimed Introducing the Red Mage, the jack of all trades Both magic, crazy tactics, leaving 'em all in their grave Then there's a Black Belt and a Black Mage Clumsy with the hitting, but fixing to put a hurting on all of you fuckin' bitches Don't forget, after this, we gotta stop at the shop I ain't doing much damage with this rock in a sock I am the Red Mage, pimpin' a feather in my hat The name's JoJo, need something? Yeah I got that Watch your step, cause I stand where you fall Eloquent abilities, and that's not all Ostentatiously fashionable, what's my name, bitch? Light you on fire, and then I'll heal your shit Just to burn you again, and then I'll cut you in two It takes three men just to do what I do And that's my cue Pointy hat and coat of blue Burning bright yellow eyes, and I do what I do Cause I learned the dark arts from another time and age Bow down to me, bitches, cause I'm the Black Mage I got my wizard hat on and I'm looking something vicious All the ladies call me "Lucky", cause I'm magically delicious Four spaces for a name? Bitch, I only need three L-E-O, sign me up for the Final Fantasy! I've just heard a legend as a prophecy That four strapping young lads would come and see me In all my majesty and save the Princess, see And put a damn stop to the Elemental Fiends The good knight Garland (until recently) Broke in and stole the fucking Princess from me Don't worry about it, sir, we're gonna take Garland down But we're gonna need some weapons, 'fore we go into town Let's go! Oh great we're at the town shop Black Mages can't equip shit, so I'll wait outside (Yay, Leo!) Just take your time (Yeah, get out of here, Corey Feldman!) I guess I'll go buy some spells, and I'll find them all well Find something else to do with my time That's fine Quit with the bitchin', get back in the kitchen! Going on our way to the Temple of Fiends Damned Imp better stay the hell away from me Yo, Spud, hit 'em with your nunchucks, G See if we can go and gain some gold and XP These wolves won't stop coming after me But ain't nothing compared to these spiders, see With you here, JoJo, to cast Ruse on me Nothing's stopping us from building up the GP Damn, Leo, why you keep gettin' hit? You're bringin' the team down, I'm sick of this shit! You're a mediocre mage, and you're trippin', JoJo I think it's time for you to get your ass in the back row Once we get to the temple, you'd better up your energy Now, everybody armor up and get behind me Surrender the princess or we're taking you down We're gonna run your ass up out of this town C'mon! Your defense is weak Fought Imps tougher than you Good knight turned bad knight? Good night for you Surrender the Princess or surrender your life I'm light speeds ahead of you, now bleed on my knife That was a critical hit Critics are thumbing in awe Garland, you look like shit Go home and cry to your ma Who do you think you are, boy, the Light Warriors? Don't make me laugh, although you are glorious How do you get your hair to match your armor so well? I bet your manicurist has a dozen stories to tell Stand aside, boy, I'll make a mockery of you Well you'll be pushing up roses 'fore the time that I'm through You done it now, shut your mouth, look what you made me do! You can't keep up with me, you fuckin' slow ass punk Your little knife ain't gonna stop my powerful nunchucks Once you were the best knight in the kingdom Now you're nothing but a fuckin' crumb-bum, chum I bite my thumb at you, bitch (How dare you!) I'm back in this part just to fix up my glitch Is that all you've got, you vexatious queef? I'll knock you down, I'll make you wish you would've chosen Thief Your nunchaku are as deadly, if no more so than you And that isn't saying much, but it's true Have at you! You were just lucky when you landed that blow (Fo' sho'!) But mine won't even show with my back up, bro (So back up, bro!) (Your back up?) (Yes!) (Oh no!) You think you've won, but your story has only begun I summon four ferocious Fiends from beyond the Sun Well, god damn you and your fucking shit, I'm going home! (No!) Shit, there better have been pizza two thousand years ago (Yeah, you asshole) Thank you all, you fuckin' saved me Without you four people, I don't know where I'd be Now saddle up fellas, and get inside of me That's one hell of a way to increase your HP! Now, let's go see the King, I hear he built us a bridge We can go to the town where all the pirates live Muscle up some scallywags, and get us a boat So we can sail the seas and punch fish in the throat Three sheets to the wind and I'll show you the ropes I'm Bikke the pirate, I'll put a hook in your throat Yo, Bikke, check it out, I'm gonna slaughter your crew Now gimme your ship or I'mma do it to you It's already been five minutes since we started this song That's four Ninja Gaiden songs way too long You killed me mates, they're a pain in me bum You can take me ship, but I'm keepin' me rum My name is Matoya and I got me some herb If you find my crystal I can hook you up (Word!) Is it just me, or are my broomsticks talkin'? Crazy backwards words like Christopher Walken Let me take another toke and hope you find my shit Cause if you don't, you won't be getting no herb, legit? Shit, break out the Cheez Whiz, we gonna have a party We'll find that fucking crystal, and I'll break out the Bacardi You got a sexy voice, call me up some time Or we'll be back with the crystal if you change your mind (Destroy all of them) (Kill them one by one) (Tear them into shreds) (This will be so fun) I rescued the Princess and leveled up my crew Bitch, I done evened out the odds, now I'm coming after you I got my mind on the prize, I'm taking what's mine Tell Doc Brown to get the DeLorean, we's going back in time, bitch (Garland is no more) (Chaos reigns supreme) (So, you want some more?) (Check out my Four Fiends) Destroyed Lich with fire, and Kary with might Sockin' Kraken, blockin', knockin' as we Nuke Tiamat tonight (Ya na na na) I got the crystals, time to go back to the past As I put this motherfuckinh sword in Chaos' ass Those fools are on their way They'll rue the day they came my way I'm Chaos In the flesh The Fiends compare to fleas compared to me It's great to be pure Chaos I laid Erdrick to rest And one by one you'll die by my hand Oh, look what I've become This fantasy is far from final The worst is yet to come Rescued the Princess and captured the ship We got the Mystic Key from Elven Prince Defeated Lich, Kary, Kraken and Tiamat with a chortle Orb of Earth, Fire, Water, Air, opened the portal Went back two thousand years to the Temple of Fiends Now we're four Light Warriors, haunting your dreams You're going down, Chaos, you shouldn't fuck with my crew Or Leo, JoJo, Spud and I are gonna show you how we do You motherfucker We've beat you before, and we'll do it again Every time you fuckin' rise until this fantasy ends You'd better stay on your guard, cause when I strike you're gonna feel it You fuckin' piece of shit, you're going down bitch, I mean it Chaos, I got a problem wit'cho muhfuckin' ass That's why I captured the Crystals and came back to the past Battled many foes on my way to you And I won't think twice about destroying you, too I won't be so forgiving this time around I will put you in the ground You can't stop me now, I'm more powerful than you You puny half-wit, I'll hit you with my dick! Chaos reigns upon you and you question yourself You find that messing with the best is never good for your health Bitch you'd better go home, and cry to your mom (Your mom!) Cause I've been fuckin' practicing and taking my time (My time!) You're good, but you're no Sephiroth You're startin' to piss me off Right now Right now Right now Right now (I'm gonna fucking kick you in your stupid fucking face!) Your defense is weak Fought Imps tougher than you Good knight turned bad knight? Good knight for you I got so much HP, you can call me Terminator Cause these motherfuckin' muscles are buffer than Schwarzenegger's Take a tip from my crew bitch, it's time to bow out! After that we'll have a motherfucking night on the town Cause it's a random battle system, and your ass gon' be hurtin' And I'll be busting out my tricks like my name was Lance Burton Eight-bit motherfuckers, and we're fully equipped With swords and staves and knives, all kinds of magical shit (Let's go) How can this be happening? This can't be true! Well I'mma kick you in your motherfuckin' face, you're through You done it now, shut your mouth, look what you made me do! I got a thousand volts of lightning running through my veins Three-foot of steel in my hand, and its flavor is pain You been playing with fire, now you're gonna get burned You're in over your head, another lesson to be learned I'm gonna run you through, you're gonna pay for your crime, fucker I just cast Haste and now you're running out of time They call me Chaos for a reason, boy, don't be ridiculous As of late, I've found that time itself is rather meticulous I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings! You and your friends will die here and I'll destroy everything! We are the Light Warriors, bitch, you heard what I said We're gonna end this paradox, you're only strong in your head You may think you're safe in this time loop, but now you're dead