Suicide Letters

[Tech N9ne talking] This is a piece that I wrote When I was on some ole, low down down low feelin, depressed shit Y'know what I'm sizzlin? It contains, heh, three suicide letters to my peeps Well actually uh two suicide letters Y'know what I'm sizzlin? I wrote it in rhyme form But I'm gonna try to read it to the best of my ability Y'know what I'm sizzlin? So bear with me Listen to the lyrics, check it out.. [Tech N9ne] Picture me in that casket, blasted Never nobody knew how long the pain lasted Keep my eyes tight I'm frightened But I fights like Tyson When playin this game of life I'm losin long to be enlightened Absorb my mind state Reduce the crime rate and take me out When runnin toward the Lord I see em fake me out Shook me so from church I played hookie Listen to the words of a brotha The sick stutter So ya better better get the get the bags ready Comin killa killa like Schagnetti My brains contaminated, hella rotten It wasn't me who killed you (Who was it, what was it) The affects of the mildew, my brains wilted In my eyes the world is a bit tilted Lord take me away before somebody else get killed Bloods spills seriously This is the letter to my homies I'll be missin God told me to behold a pale horse but I didn't listen It's hard mane My life is scarred mane I'm loosin my mind So now it's time Sincerely signed N9ne [Hook (2X)] (I just wanna die) I don't wanna wake up I don't wanna cause that's the way That I feel I'm barely hangin on (I just wanna die) I don't wanna wake up I don't wanna wake up cause that's the way It has to be (Man, this is to my wife, check it out) [Tech N9ne] I made your life a livin hell with my infidelity Remember you tell me All I gave a damn about was weed, stems, and melodies Remeber ya spent thirty minutes in the hospital parking lot crying When the blood test read the baby of another woman was mine 99.99 Should of left long time ago like Mary J. say Just let it go like Ray J I know your momma heard you yelling May Day Spent my life trying to R A to the P You were sick of me always being B to the R O K to the E There was nothing else left for me I was a bum But you still wanted some Through the rain, snow, and thunder Foul-ups, bleeps, and blunders But no man shall tear us under is what you said Shoulda put multi bullets in my head When you found that Evil Instinct was a song But the events actually went on This is the letter To my homie, my friend who put up with me for 8 So now to take me really quickly's my fate I'm sorry For makin it hard I know your scarred I'm loosin my mind So now it's time Sincerely signed N9ne [Hook (2X)] [Tech N9ne] I love y'all The dynamic duo, my babies It ain't your fault that your daddies crazy Donny I miss you drummin Like me, one day you'll be rulin Lilly I miss you always in my face yellin "Daddy what ya dooyin?" You two are the reason why I'm still standin today But I'm sixteen-hundred miles away And it gets my heart sinkin When I start thinkin bout you babies I heavily start drinkin on a daily Puffin, I see in my heart I gots to toughin Can't see me leavin my angels with nothin So I keep bustin Use my pain For you two I gotta come up in the game Fly planes to an island so one day you can do the same with yours Love you galore and I ain't playin Makin me put a end to the suicidal mindstate sayin [Hook (2X)] (Tech N9ne says this during the chorus) Ya, thats what a nigga was on y'know what I'm sizzlin? Sh.. But as you can tell Like I said, I can't leave my angels with nothin So I gotta keep bustin, y'know what I'm sayin? Suicide ain't my thang Never ever gonna be my thang when I know I got my love So we just gon sit back Write these rhymes, make these mills And chill Don Juan Tech N9ne