Dr. Strangelove - The Doomsday Machine Explained

Muffley: But this is absolute madness, ambassador. Why should you build such a thing? DeSadeski: There are those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up with the expense involved in the arms race, the space race, and the peace race. And at the same time our people grumbled for more nylons and washing machines. Our doomsday scheme cost us just a small fraction of what we'd been spending on defense in a single year. But the deciding factor was when we learned that your country was working along similar lines, and we were afraid of a doomsday gap. Muffley: This is preposterous. I've never approved of anything like that. DeSadeski: Our source was the New York Times. Muffley: Dr. Strangelove, do we have anything like that in the works? Strangelove: A moment please, Mr. President. Under the authority granted me as director of weapons research and development, I commissioned last year a study of this project by the Bland corporation. Based on the findings of the report, my conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent, for reasons which, at this moment, must be all too obvious. Muffley: Then you mean it is possible for them to have built such a thing? Strangelove: Mr. President, the technology required is easily within the means of even the smallest nuclear power. It requires only the will to do so. Muffley: But, how is it possible for this thing to be triggered automatically, and at the same time impossible to untrigger? Strangelove: Mr. President, it is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing. Turgidson: Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines, Stainsy. Muffley: But this is fantastic, Strangelove. How can it be triggered automatically? Strangelove: Well, it's remarkably simple to do that. When you merely wish to bury bombs, there is no limit to the size. After that they are connected to a gigantic complex of computers. Now then, a specific and clearly defined set of circumstances, under which the bombs are to be exploded, is programmed into a tape memory bank. Turgidson: Strangelove. What kind of a name is that? That ain't no kraut name, is it, Stainsy? Stains: He changed it when he became a citizen. It used to be Merkwurkdigliebe. Turgidson: Hmm. A kraut, by any other name, huh, Stainsy? Strangelove: Yes, but the... whole point of the doomsday machine... is lost... if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world, eh? DeSadeski: It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.