The People's Douche

[Intro] What's up? [Verse 1] I'm sorry to interrupt your evening at the eatery But I'm about to freak what you believe unbelievably You will see, every time Sparker, comma, Peter speaks It's bacon for the Jews and gay marriage for the Jesus freaks VHS tapes flying out the red box All the Yankee's fans cheering for the Red Sox And the neo nazis all growing dread locks Listenin' to Erykah Badu until their head nods I got Facebook accounts for the Amish Throw a little steak in while I'm makin' Vegans omelettes Democrats out hunting in the forestry Republicans giving tax cuts to minorities All the beer snobs chillin', sippin' Natty Ice While I take a bachelor and match him with a battered wife Got the Hipsters clothes shopping at Walmart Hanging with the B-Team, acting like they're all stars Unplugging tanning booths in Little Italy Hanging with some country music fans bumping Lil B Making A&R's spit bars and vans While I'm reading poetry to some Nascar fans [Hook] Look, it's Peter Sparker in this bitch, I'm the people's douche And I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich Or the rich become the poor, so they're holding open doors For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store [Verse 2] I got some alpha males thinking they're lame Donald Trump just asked me for spare change The Westboro Baptist Church is having gay sex While I got the sneaker heads shopping up in Payless Then I got the teenagers all leaving social media And reading what a library is on Wikipedia I could make a morning person sleep into the evening Shit, I got Lebron James moving back to Cleveland I could get the housewives to all stop gossiping And get the Taliban starting all girls colleges (colleges) Illiterate people, they all want to read about it Let's do something sweet and not tweet about it Dead beat dads asking where the diapers are Drag queens all dancing in the biker bar Jocks giving geeks props as the pass in the hall I got Kobe Bryant passing the ball, come on [Hook] Look, it's Peter Sparker in this bitch, I'm the people's douche And I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich Or the rich become the poor, so they're holding open doors For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store Man the day is gonna come, when the bosses will be generous And all the employees will get some benefits, for once And until the day it does, you know I'm your fucking bud It's the people's douche, now let me see those dirty hands up! [Bridge] Put your hands up If you only got a dollar in your pocket and that shit ain't enough Put your hands up Put your hands up If you're not here to put 'em up ‘cause you had to work and couldn't come [Hook] Look, it's Peter Sparker in this bitch, I'm the people's douche And I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich Or the rich become the poor, so they're holding open doors For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store Man the day is gonna come, when the bosses will be generous And all the employees will get some benefits, for once And until the day it does, you know I'm your fucking bud It's the people's douche, now let me see those dirty hands up!