U Can't Fade Me

( * original lyrics by Ice Cube * ) Drop a old school beat Ha-ha Ha-ha-ha-ha Plow! [ VERSE 1 ] Now the taste of Crystal is fillin up my bladder What's the time on the rolie? It don't matter Had a pocket full of phone numbers I was tryin to sort To make a long story short: Ran into this girl named Sally Knew her from the backseat of my homeboy's Navi She said what's up, yeah, what's the deal? Check the nappy weave, of course it ain't real Then I looked down, she was fat in the front I asked how long, she said, "About 6 months" "Oh, how time flies when you're havin fun" She said, "Yeah, but the damage is done" "Where you been?" "On a little vacation" "Oh, by the way, congratulations Who's the lucky man?" She said, "I got him on file" Then she said, "It's Spice 1", and smiled I dropped my stout, then everything went blank "Had a baby by you, the neighborhood skank?" She said, "Yeah, don't you remember that day?" I thought back and tried to calculate Then I said, "Damn, are you sure it's mine? My homies did the Soultrain on ya plenty of times" She said, "That day, nah, I was whorin And your ass is mine", that's when the sweat started pourin Cause all I seen was Spice 1 up in court Paying a gang on child support Then I thought deep about givin up the fetti What I need to do is kick the bitch in the belly Nah, cause then I'd really be faded That's murder one, cause it was premeditated What should I do? Kidnap the bitch and flee? How many months left? Damn, only 3 I'm gettin faded Goddamn, what the fuck I done got myself into? This shit is dense Damn, I'm gettin faded Muthafuckas tryin to take my driver's license and shit Bitch, you can't fade me This bitch got a grip on my muthafuckin nuts, mayn Damn, I'm gettin faded But you know? I ain't finna go out [ VERSE 2 ] It's crazy, because before I could sleep with her I had to duck and dodge to try to creep with her See, the booty in the front was all in place But the girl had a pitbull face So I ran, jumped, drove, swam, crawled, hid Oh Lord, God forbid The homies see me at the hotel Cause I know they would love to just go tell Everybody in the hood that knows you're nasty Elbows and knees and feet was hella ashy So hold the big fat butt steady Cause yo, bitch, I got the three rubbers ready She started gruntin and squeelin like a wild bore I hit the ass from Cali to Singapore I dropped her off, man, and now I'm knowin That I'mma hate myself in the mornin I got drunk to help me forget Damn, another day, another hit Shit, I'm gettin faded No cigars, nigga Damn, you can't fade me You better fire up a muthafuckin blunt and get some Hen-dog [ VERSE 3 ] 9 months later she's ready to drop the load And all the partners in the hood already know That it's 'posed to be mine, and they laughin at me You know Spice 1 can't be havin that, gee Thinkin to myself: why did I bang her? Now I'm in the closet lookin for the hanger Kaos, Vic Rock and [Name] won't let up They won't shut up, I'm gettin fed up Cause I know, you're tryin to break me And if I find out you're tryin to fade me I'mma clock yo ass with my shoe Beat you down and leave a crown or two That night she went into labor And the shit is gettin kinda major The baby came out, damn, it was a lifesaver Lookin like my next-door neighbor She said it was mine, that was her best guess But let's check the results of the blood test I started smilin, yeah, cause it read 'negative' Damn, why did I let her live? After that I shoula got the gat And bust and rushed and illed and peeled the cap But no, I just told the ho who laid me "Excuse me, bitch, it's a switch, you can't fade me" Nah, bitch, it ain't even finna go down like that A nigga like me ain't finna go for the okey-doke The bitch out here thinkin she get a muthafucka for his cash and shit Playin a muthafucka for some type of bitch-ass nigga But you know what? Before I go for the okey-doke, ho I'mma let the pistol smoke And that's real The bitch tryin to fade me