Dreaming (The Breakthrough)

[Verse One: Speed on the Beat] A'yo, my first outburst, it was a gift and a curse Didn't know it at first, no one understood the hurt That I'd felt inside, not knowing any of it at the time When I punched the glass window, threatened to kirk Reckless behavior, nobody controlling me Teachers scold me, girls loved me but they always consoling me Not knowing what was truly going on in my mind So I ended up proving them hella right And I resorted to it, one time, me and my moms were homeless I was focused on trying to get us out this abyss Eight or nine or ten or something, they thought that I was bugging So they tried to fly in not expecting that I was in Hell already... So, hell...dammit, I was ready To end all their endeavors before they pulled the piece! Not truly understanding what was going on in my mind The doctors told me I had a problem but I'd know in due time [Hook: Speed on the Beat] I was dreaming... Thinking everything's alright when the world is sinking... Drugging out day and night, plotting and scheming... Even if reality's full of strife, I can't be caught dreaming I'll get out of this hell myself, I don't wanna be dreaming... [Verse Two: Speed on the Beat] Fast Forward to Roland Park, back when I met True They knew I was an a-plus student, but stupid they couldn't prove Anything was wrong. They thought I was a problem child Wanted to put me in DEC classes, they were pretty through... Trying to understand the macabre scenes in the dreams Already had Matt try to kill himself, they gave no fucks 'bout me I was black, short and fat, and I tried to fuck Savvy Sadly couldn't see myself ever truly being happy That's recklessness, impulsiveness, self-destructive behavior Suicide attempts, depression and hyperness in my capers But they didn't see it until I was about twenty (But they didn't see it until I was about twenty) My dad's dying, I started dating Raquel I started to let go, but there were still hella skel- E-tons in my closet, and son I almost lost it Hobbling across the parking lot to traffic I almost threw Myself into Route One, praying I'd end it all Drowned sorrows in alcohol, but nothing could kill the stewed Up feelings in my head, all driving to my bed Of death I almost went, but I decided to seek the truth [Hook] Because I was dreaming... Thinking everything's alright when the world is sinking... Drugging out day and night, plotting and scheming... Even if reality's full of strife, I can't be caught dreaming I'll get out of this hell myself... [Verse Three: Speed on the Beat] Mr. Speed you're bipolar and that honestly kinda shocked me I said fuck your rules and expectations, don't try to lock me I got another set of eye, more aligned with what I wanted to do Fast forward to a little after I turn 22 Plus three holes in the walls... My two-year-old son scared to come through My path, we break up again, no demons forced me Tore the skin of the boring me lost myself in my stories Abusing medications, Klonnies push me off the cliff "I'll just enjoy the ride," started drifting into "consciousness." The next thing I know, I'm chilling in Laurel Regional "Mr. Speed, will you admit yourself?" Whatever yo The on-call doctor said "we think you've BD" "On the one side of the spectrum, a classic case won't you agree?" So here I am, one of the youngest in this thing, and see Missing out on classes and dealing with foolishness (HELP ME!) But, ultimately, owning up helped me once before So before I left out the door I let some of it into my soul Began feeling weights lifted off my shoulders and Everyone around me said I seemed like "me" again--Revived Soul