Cleanse (Tormented Soul)

[Verse One: Speed on the Beat] People predicted plausible possibilities as to why my brain Worked wonders somedays, and others wasted away Doctors decided disorders were the definitive device They told me I was bipolar, and overanxious Put everyone before myself, but whole the story is not Stressed about failure, hating to disappoint but they kind of forgot To calculate the fact sometimes I'm apathetic Easily distracted, then again, that could be part of the BD Now add that shit up, multiply by 26 years Divide by bout half, cause my fam? History of illness Gotdamn, I can stress, can't I? Especially considering I could either live til i'm 90, or die in three weekends That's why I gotta do something, go to school, even with loans Make my mark, of course, cuz tomorrow's not promised Therefore, I'ma make sure I control, my destiny So that same ol' shit i talked about, won't have much effect on me [Hook: Speed on the Beat] Welcome to the mind of a tormented soul I just wanna heal the world, but honestly I know If I don't talk about me for a second, I'll explode (and let all my work go the way of the dodo) So, excuse me, while I spill me whole This is the final step of letting go The next step to ascending so... Please bare with my tormented soul (as I cleanse) [Verse Two: Speed on the Beat] I was born August 17, 1988 Francis Scott Key Medical, where I took my first breath, baby Knew from the start i was different, especially since I walked before I crawled, and my daddy had some other kids Older than me, thus they were colder to me Don't want to acknowledge me as Speed? On the real, fuck 'em B They the ones that turned their back on my father I'm the one who withstood the thunder of the slaughter Along with my mother, even though she was sick like him With her back, spine withering away like packages Full of hostess goodies surrounded by fat kids And the sad shit is if I wasn't born, she could've been/ Better, I used to blame myself for her sickness I think she knew, cause as I grew? She'd exploit her sickness Making me feel guilty for not being overly supportive But when I've got my own kid, I can't support two families (Damn!) [Hook: Speed on the Beat] Welcome to the mind of a tormented soul I just wanna heal the world, but honestly I know If I don't talk about me for a second, I'll explode (And let all my work go the way of the dodo) So, excuse me, while I spill me whole This is the final step of letting go The next step to ascending so... Please bare with my tormented soul (as I cleanse) [Verse 3: Speed on the Beat] Skeletons in my closet, I was touched, no angel I feared being 'round my son because I didn't understand What it meant to be involved in something so sick And that I could never buck trends... (That's what I thought anyways) I never talk about it much, I mean, it's taboo In black communities to say "hey, I was molested" And even worse when you know that the person you accuse Is close to your heart, so I kept it hidden I was raped by a woman, freshman year at UMD Didn't report that shit, because on the real, who'd believe me? The nymphomaniac that hung with D-R-E Was drugged and taken advantage of at a party Besides, we ALL know that men can never EVER be raped We want all the pussy that's put up in our face I'll make sure that Jojo never has to deal with fuckery So if it's gotta be all on me? Fuck it, bring it on, B I'll take the brunt of the world to make sure that he lives A life without strife, without being touched or emotionally Scarred, though it's hard and I wanna lose control I've gotta put these pieces together, of this kind of fractured soul... [Outro] I was born August 17th, Nineteen Eigh--