Suicide I

I sit on my front porch and light a cigarette in the middle of the evening There’s a thickness in the atmosphere around me As I tilt my head back against the fortress of my home, all I can do is remember and wish these walls were painted blue I hold my troubles in my lungs and release their smoldered vapors to be free amongst the sunset I am personified in my own head as a better man than I’ve ever been And I want to be remembered as such This is classic “He picked the bad apple in the bunch” support system I’ll fetch the tinder. We’ll smoke his witchcraft alive and send his ashes into the abyss You’re a horrible mess And I’m as horrible, yes Echolocation when you’ve lost sight of your light It’s on some Super Moon shit Tonight, we let the devils play advocate to my impressive bedrock foundation Send signals straight from the nucleus He is the center of all your problems He is the answer to the qualms you haven’t solved yet She’s the sweat that nervousness and psalms bred She’s the lines betwixt your palms read I pulled the bears out of the cottage They were determined junkie-enablers who set their sights on the universe’s final mystery What is it about the end of times that lets the hopeless live life contently? Suddenly the final clue is found and all that’s left of curiosity is (You were right and I was wrong) like trying to convince the wrong date to a groundhog Set Nibelheim to flames and call the man with one wing a bastard of divinity Do you really want to know who you are? Can you handle diving deep in your own heart? Learn about yourself before your good luck turns tits up Bottom of the well with your rope cut Now tell me exactly how you plan to get us outta this one? Make your mood malleable The wrong guy will fuck you in the streets The Good Guys and The Bad Guys take turns guessing how long until you fall to your knees Sugar-Skull Kid lost the paint on his face to the rain Exposed his pain to those who prefer not to care if it’s wet all year I was raised to be indifferent to the thunder Originate the platform (Master of peasants) Cut and conform just like your father did (But when your life is so damn great I wonder if your father did it for you) (Or Before you) (I implore you) Reconsider 2 shots of Jager later and you’ll be concrete-stuck like floor glue And you won’t ever remember being brave this afternoon It’s not worth seeing you free if you’re not free with me I’d rather have you suffer in a place where I can help you Especially since you won’t ask me too It hurts me alot more than you do I’m vibrant and colossal You’re far too frail and vulnerable I don’t pick up your calls at all From my day job I could watch your final fall