Growing Pains

[Verse] I swear this me man my nigga all I got is my myself Yesterday I had debts to pay and I regret to say that I lost your help Is anybody out here? They got me hanging on like they out there It's funny how we're taking different routes here I got here off my sacrifices, if anything turning my back suffices Shit ain't hit me 'till you said that I just look lifeless My grandfather passed this year, hearing him talk was just priceless Matter fact the only one left is she who gave life to pops Can only imagine the impending reaction Probably never ever understand the passion But I got mine and I'm aware that some grow without them like that's what's happening Sometimes you gotta think of others even when it seem that it's all crashing Man it took me forever to muster up the will power Dark places like Con Ed had killed power My eyes red, jumping off towers Watch me land in this fake puddle that's filled with shots like they poured 'em out Feeling like they ain't genuine 'cus they want their spots so they force 'em out Man I swear I don't recognize, the man in the mirror don't testify The man in the mirror put his parents through it Bust they ass to put me in school and I'm second guessing just going through it Am I blind or is the vision clear? Future so bright and at the same time it's terrifying Ain't guaranteed so I spill it here Love forgive me but I'm tired of having this shit forced on me that's when it hit me I was strong about it man my mother really brought her best and she left it with me And she working that double time, father grinding way before my time Immigrants in this fucking jungle, long roads and we had our stumbles Still all the way from when guests arrived Talking 'bout how we losing touch with how we meant to rise A product of your kids westernized, just Americanized And home really ain't home now, swear I never felt more alone now Had to put the game on postpone now, used to need them loans but I'm grown now And what's sown now, I hope you reap it What you hearing from me I hope you keep it Just outcomes that spark how comes and them ghosts talking once doubt comes I'm working too hard I suffered too long A couple I do right I bunch I did wrong If we could make it out of this place Then we could find the spirits we had misplaced They try to dictate the road to take but fuck your torch or coming up short I'm running up court, the same Iso for years nigga never changed sport And my old thang just reappeared but this time I'm empty I can miss We but God can mislead if I can misread the sign he sent me Knowing damn well you really can't tell when all them words we overheard show The moments pass 'cus shit never sets in until we're gone and our words go The worse met bad with countless setbacks from hell then went back The minutes we get back are spent to catch up on present days Know I'm rarely present for the better days Nowadays it's just money spending, no spending time Isn't this what our lives about? The revolving doors in and out of stores For material things 'till out time run out Fabricating exteriors for interiors that just ain't correct The issues lies within tendencies I'm still trying to fix before the last chance 'Cus how can I be in a room of family feeling like I simply just can't connect? The distance in between loved ones, if I could shorten it before the last dance Paranoia plus narcissism, OC disorder and a heart that's missing Worried about when tomorrow comes We just glossing all over the part to listen Nothing left but this life I'm chasing We're just waiting 'till the lights are fading and glamour's closing But for now just crack a smile man the camera's rolling [Outro] And I feel like I might go insane And I feel like I might go insane And I feel like I might go insane But you tell me in time it's just growing pains And I feel like I might go insane And I feel like I might go insane