Rap Battle (Skit 1)

- An average day. Cars pass in the distance, the wind blows A crowd forms on a street corner. SlimJayy's newest opponent has arrived for the next round in his Rap Battle spot for F.M.L Everyone begins speaking their views with their thoughts clashing and their voices overriding one another's [WEIRD KID:] Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God Do you see that? [BLACK DUDE:] Yo, yo, did you—did you see Amir man? [WEIRD KID:] Oh he, oh man, he's so perfect. Oh my God [WHITE BOY:] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah [BLACK DUDE:] Yo, yo, yo, he's killing this guy man [WHITE BOY:] SlimJayy let's go! SlimJayy LET'S GO! [BLACK DUDE:] Nah man. Nah. Amir man. Amir! [RANDOM FRENCH MAN:] Agh! I can't stand these people. Agh, they're rapping Rapping is TERRIBLE [NERD:] AHHHHH!!!!! Jharrel! Jharrel! SlimJayy! SlimJayy! Oh my God! He's everywhere! [GUY:] Yo, I never even heard of Amir man But SlimJayy got a mixtape... He made a mixtape?! Yo, he made a mixtape?!?! You know he gon' kill this kid! [WHITE BOY:] Come on. Come on, you got this Yo, Amir wack man. Amir wack [WANNABE BABYMOMMA:] Baby, go baby. You go baby That's my baby out there [WHITE BOY:] You got this man. You got this. I swear to God you got this man - DJ Instynctz, the battle's MC, steps forth The crowd still continues to rant [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] Alright, alright, everybody calm down, calm down - The crowd can be heard chanting "Kill Him!" Someone is heard whistling [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] (CONT'D) Alright man, you already know man This is the F.M.L Rap Battle - The crowd quiets down [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] (CONT'D) Amir if you win You get to be on the F.M.L mixtape Let's go! [AMIR ROYALE:] You see Jayy This ain't GTA Life don't come with no checkpoints There's no "Let's Play" So if you gonna play your fans You better prepare a cast Or a casket 'Cuz I'm 'bout to turn you into a basket— Case - The crowd bursts into excitement [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] Whoa... [SOME TEENAGER:] OH NAH CHILL!!!! THAT'S CRAZY!!!!! [WHITE BOY:] NAH! NAH!! NAH!!! [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] That's a way to start off - The crowd begins to chant Amir's name [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] (CONT'D) Alright man, next up... - The crowd continues ranting [SOME TENNAGER:] THAT'S MY BOY! THAT'S MY BOY YOOOO!!!! [WHITE BOY:] OHHH MY GOD!!! [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] (interrupting) Our reigning champion SlimJayy! - The crowd quiets down again [SLIMJAYY:] Alright (coughs) Alright, alright Nah, nah, nah, check—check this out Check this out (sniffs and coughs) Green Eggs and Ham I don't like that When I bite back I fight back 'Cuz I'm like that Yeah, turn around You a clown Man, I run this town Like a hound—dawg Yeah, ribbit like a frog [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] Frog? [SLIMJAYY:] Your rhymes are soggy I'm mad froggy Leap You can't eat But I sleep With my eyes open And you hoping That you make it past me Man, I got so much shoes in my closet 'Cuz I'm an athlete [NERD AND WEIRD KID:] What? [SLIMJAYY:] Word [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] (confused) Uh, yeah, that was uh... [SLIMJAYY:] Get on [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] SlimJayy, uh... [GUY:] That made no sense at all [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] I'm not too sure what that was about but uh... Wow, uh... [WANNBE BABYMOMMA:] That's not my baby anymore Nuh-uh, that was never my baby [BLACK DUDE:] Yo, yo, yo, I told you Amir was gon' kill him right? I told you that right? [WHITE BOY:] That was wack! [SOME TEENAGER:] Yeah - The crowd begins chanting Amir's name once more [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] Alright, alright, alright Hey, hey—Amir, uh, can I talk to you for a second man? (whispers) Yo please Just take it easy with him alright? Just take it easy (takes a breath) Alright everybody! [AMIR ROYALE:] Yo [SOME TEENAGER:] You got it [WHITE BOY:] Let's go [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] For the second round, Amir Royale! Let's go! [AMIR ROYALE:] I'm 'bout to spill an ill verse of words I'm the flu to your fluke You only made it 'cuz you faked it Like a Corn Flake in a soup You already coughing and choking And man—man it's only round two And, I have trained for the two W-E 'Cuz I threw myself in jail Then locked the door behind me You fought around in the hometown And, I fought around in a cage boy I turned a man at 14 And, you still just a plain boy [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] Sheesh [SOME TEENAGER:] Bars [GUY:] OHHHHHHHHH! [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] Somebody stop this please... [WHITE BOY:] It's over [GUY:] That's it [WEIRD KID:] It's over [GUY:] It's the end [SOME TEENAGER:] It's the end! [WHITE BOY:] Yo SlimJayy! SLIMJAYY! Get off the stage [SOME TEENAGER:] Get him off! [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] SlimJayy... I guess... [WHITE BOY:] Get off the stage! [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] I guess... [GUY:] TOMATO THROW! TOMATO! [WHITE BOY:] Haha! It's over! [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] You don't really have to do this man. You don't have to... - SlimJayy coughs, toughening up [DJ INSTYNCTZ:] Alright man, SlimJayy uh. Alright... [SLIMJAYY:] Alright Amir You—you can be on the mixtape... - There's a pause [AMIR ROYALE:] That's what I thought...