The Rappist

[Intro] Well, my name is Schaffer and I'm here to say I can rock the mic in the oldschool way I got a funky sound And right about now, I'd like to break it down Say what [Part 1] Don't call it hip-hop, because it really isn't If you listen, it's similar, but just a little different Rhythmically delivered lyrics over wicked beats Are the end of this and hip-hop's similarities Cause I don't bounce and I don't do rap hands See, look at me, I look like an ass, man No crew, no gin and juice I'm no Dr. Dre, I'm more like Dr. Seuss I wouldn't use the word rapper, it's rather inaccurate I do talk fast, use rhyming words like "immaculate" Hubba-bubba bubble gum, bubblicious bubble yum Rubber baby, buggy bumpers - this is dumb I don't rap about the ladies, all are individuals Or call my bitching about the world political I don't send shout-outs, I don't ever front I just discuss a bunch of goofy stuff and say What [Hook 1] I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest My name is STD, my people call me the Rappist I'm no rapper, this isn't hip-hop Call me the Rappist and you don't stop Well I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the fattest My name is STD, my people call me the Rappist [Part 2] Everyone'll wonder, what the booker was under When I come on out and step to the mic You were askin' for a rapper, instead you got the Rappist And it happens that there's no one I'm like (outta sight) I don't freestyle, I only write my words And I'm singin' it, to me wingin', it's for the birds I often get asked to by non rappin' band nerds STD is the abbreviation for standard No DJ, no need for turntables Just give me my box, a 58 and a cable An onstage DI and some monitors, too But keep the reverb off my mix sound man,, thank you And I don't play tough and say, "Step the fuck back" What the fuck is that? that's not how I act I like to keep my audience up close to the stage I'd you rather you stay than chased away when I play So where's Queen's at (what), where's Queen's at (what) Dude, let me show you on this street map (oh) It's right here, over Roosevelt, across the East River That's enough of that crap, I got some raps to deliver [Hook 2] Everybody, look at me Who's he, he's STD He's a geek, he's no MC Just who the hell he's s'pposed to be And he's so, I don't know I know he's no rapper and that's when I go [Part 3] Hotel, Motel Holiday Inn Killer out of sight, it's the Rappist delight When goose bumps are jumpin' out of your skin (I win) I don't dance, never, not a goddamn chance I stand in the back, clutching a cup in my stance One hand in my pocket, head nodding, hunched over Sippin' cheap yellow beer, clear out, before the show's over When a rapper says Throw your hands up, I don't When a rapper says Make some noise, I won't Bossing your audience is awfully pompous So I'll never do it, that's the STD promise I'll never battle rap or rap like I'm black And I'll try to never lose sight of just where I'm at Goddammit, and i'll never do that again And by that I mean end a sentence with a preposition I got props for the real hip-hop Those who pop and lock to the beat of a boombox Those who cock their Glocks and bawk Fuck the cops It's just not how I rock and I don't stop [Hook 2] [Part 4] Don't push me, cause I'm close to the edge And I'm tryin' not to lose my head In the west I'm the raddest, I'm the best, I'm the Rappist In the street I've not a drop of cred (I said) I almost always write my rhymes on a page Of 3 by 5 notebooks I buy at Rite Aid And I like to write 'em with a Pilot Precise 5 Rolling ball, black ink in extra fine I don't need a titular line (try) Stickin' to my themes and write original rhymes Indeed, I smoke weed, I rarely write without it But I don't really feel that means I need to rap about it I guess, I often write a song by my formula Which is 3 verses followed by 3 choruses But never open going, yo, yo When I hear a rapper do that, I go Oh, no Though I'm not implying that you don't know what you're doing But often times awful rhymes do ruin An otherwise perfectly fine instrumental I think you should avoid ink and write with a pencil And erase the parts that don't sound so hot This'll all be covered in my workshop Entitled This is How to Write a Rhyme At least it's how to write it in a style that's mine [Hook 2]‌ [Part 5] Oooo-oooo, that's the sound of the police But I really doubt they're coming for me Because I've done no crime, I'm just doing my thing I'm the Rappist known as STD Don't call it hip-hop, because it really isn't It's just a little different, did you listen as I hit it I just spit a mile a minute, now I'll hit and quit it I'm only kidding, you with it, you in it, you get it I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the phattest My name is STD, my people call me the Rappist Bass, how low can you go Death row, what a brother knows This is the end of the track called The Rappist And thanks for coming out to the show