The Bender

[Verse 1] All my party people in the place What's up? I'm super fucked up Alright! I've done a couple dozen drugs In a couple dozen ways And i ain't slept in days! Anyways! So listen up I've got the shit that you can't get enough Come and take a trip and board the ship and get your ticket stub It's hotter than a hot ass in hot pink hot pants It's the bender! A brand new dance First you step the left Run out of breath So grab the nearest drink that you can find And guzzle what's left And next you step the right Lock it up tight Order up another round of drinks at happy hour price Now shake that ass To the bathroom and blast A couple power lines Up your nose and choke 'em back fast (woo!) Clap your hands Fingers pop Stomp your feet Down another jager shot and toss it up to the beat Now just move With the rhythm Spark a pair of joints and hit 'em Find your fellow fuck-ups on the floor And wiggle up with 'em And tickle 'em Get 'em Get beneath 'em and freak 'em Because this god damn dance Is gonna last all weekend (here we go!) [Chorus 1] Penny pinchers Big spenders Booze and pills and brains in a blender Drink 'til we forget, snort until we remember We're gonna do the bender Forever! Penny pinchers Big spenders Let's stay wasted through December Drink 'til we forget Snort until we remember We're gonna do the bender! Forever (and ever) X 7 [Verse 2] Etceter-uh! That's right No need to act right Forget about the bad times Man that was last night Feel the beat and flash Your yellow teeth by the black light Suck down a strong drink Make out with a swamp thing You're crashing You're like an amateur on a ski jump You could use a key bump Hoover two or three up Woo! Gum flappin' chatterin' Has got you fuckin' thirsty Belly back up to the bar For a Patron with Uncle Dirty Fall on the ground Put your back into it (oh!) If someone offers you a tab of E (stop!) Just do it Renewin' it Screwin' up your eyes while you're dancin' It's overdue for you to come alive like Frampton Your friends leave Let 'em be Long forgotten You're an ogglin' monster Hobnobbin' with hobgoblins Smoke 'em if you get 'em (what?!) Pop a couple Oxycontin (what?!) Plop your bottom (what?!) In some vomit (what?!) Like you're Johnny Rotten (what?!) (what?!) Awesome! [Chorus 2] Penny pinchers Big spenders Booze and pills and brains in a blender Drink 'til we forget Snort until we remember We're gonna do the bender Forever! Penny pinchers Big spenders We can all literally be high steppers Drink 'til we forget Snort until we remember We're gonna do the bender Forever! (and ever) X 15 Everybody the bender Come on now Let's do it And over do it Come on you bunch of fuck-ups! And over do it again! Here we go! [Verse 3] (go!) You've got a lot of scotch to swallow If you wanna follow Bonham To a rock bottom coffin (oh!) Pop a squat coughin' You got some flotsam Jetsam in your esophagus Rockin' this bottomless pit Preposterous bliss This is the time (yeah!) This is the last chance (go!) To ruin our lives (yeah!) Just doin' this dance (go!) Advance to the next level Step it up We are Gonna join hands We're goin' to the E.R.! What we gonna do? The bender! And which drugs we gonna use? What, what, whatever! The last set of steps Is the tricky stuff Pick it up Here we go again y'all Listen up (now!) Step out of the car Put your hands up Turn back to the cop "Yo buddy! What's up?" Walk a straight line Rock it heels to toes Now, stop! Tilt your head back Touch your nose (go!) With your right hand Take hold of the hose and blow Put 'em together Pray it's under point oh eight oh Blow enough Get the cuffs And off you go Spin it around Now you're facin' six months or so (no!) But while you're doin' hard time You can have a good time You can imbibe juice produced like hooch wine You can get some yellow meth and do lines That's right You can do the bender on the inside (one more time!) [Chorus 3] Penny pinchers Big spenders Booze and pills and brains in a blender Drink 'til we forget Snort until we remember We're gonna do the bender Forever! Penny pinchers Big spenders Now we're gonna boogie with the public defender Drink 'til we forget Snort until we remember We're gonna do the bender Forever! (and ever) X 14