Woody Harrelson 1989 Monologue

[ANNOUNCER] Ladies and Gentlemen! Woody Harrelson [WOODY HARRELSON] Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's so great to be standing here, matter of fact, it's been twenty-five years, almost to the day since the first time I hosted Saturday Night Live in 1989. Now I just heard Taylor Swift's new album which is called "1989". But with all do respect to Ms. Swift, I think I know a little bit more about 1989 than she does. [Gets handed guitar] Aw thank you. Even if the memories are a little fuzzy...cause of the drugs. [Verse 1: Woody Harrelson] Seem like it would last forever Nineteen-hundred, eighty-nine The Berlin wall fell down Cher sang "turn back time" Michael Keaton, he was Batman Not sure who was president I think I had a mullet After that I just forget Oh wait, I remember I was on a show called "Cheers" Think I might of won an Emmy Think I drank a million beers Thought I met Margaret Thatcher But it was Saddam Hussein Then I got a blank space baby Cause I used to do cocaine [WOODY HARRELSON] Just a little bit, you know, I mean it was 1989-[surprised by the entrance of Josh and Liam]. Josh and Liam, I haven't seen you guys since-what was that thing that we did together. [JOSH HUTCHERSON] The Hunger Games [LIAM HEMSWORTH] The Hunger Games [WOODY HARRELSON] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew it started with "hunger." You guys here to help sing the Taylor Swift song about 1989. [JOSH HUTCHERSON] Actually we weren't even a live in 1989 [WOODY HARRELSON] What...?! How old are you guys. [LIAM HEMSWORTH] I'm 24. He's 22. [WOODY HARRELSON] Oh my god, I thought you guys were like in your early 40's or something. [JOSH HUTCHERSON] No, no, we just know the stuff you told us about 1989 like the Berlin Wall was torn down by the Kool-Aid Man. [LIAM HEMSWORTH] Einstein invented Wi-Fi. [WOODY HARRELSON] laughs I told you that in 1989 Einstein invented Wi-Fi. That was '92 [Jennifer Lawrence enters and Woody caresses her hair with his hand and face.] [WOODY HARRELSON] I-I can't believe it. I mean, I, the real Taylor Swift! This is great! [JENNIFER LAWRENCE] Woody, I'm not Taylor Swift. I'm Jennifer, we did about ten Hunger Games movies together. Yeah, yeah. That feels really great. [WOODY HARRELSON] Oh that's he-he, Woo-hoo! Sorry I didn't recognize you without the big purple hair. [LIAM HEMSWORTH] No Woody, that's Elizabeth Banks! [JENNIFER LAWRENCE] Not worth it. Not worth it. [LIAM HEMSWORTH] Okay. [WOODY HARRELSON] So are you gonna help me sing this Jen or what? [JENNIFER LAWRENCE] I don't think anybody wants to hear me sing. Crowd goes wild I was saying - I was saying that to get your support. I don't care. A um when I sing it sounds like a deer that's been caught in a fence. [LIAM HEMSWORTH] Yeah...I would say it sounds more like a dog being hit by a truck. [JOSH HUTCHERSON] Or more like one of those goats that sounds like a human "MUAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAA". You know. [JENNIFER LAWRENCE] I think they get the point. Yeah. Woody if you want to sing about '89 and you don't remember the details just, you know, keep it vague. Yeah and you know it's like you always say, "Hey man. You always over think it. You just gotta let it r-r-r Woody Mumbles with her - your always so stoned [WOODY HARRELSON] That sound like a great hahaha. One, two, three, four. [VERSE 2: Woody Harrelson, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hewsworth, Jennifer Lawrence] '89 is forever Memory will never die (die...) There was probably a winter There was also a fourth of July Everybody had a birthday England probably had a queen Now it's twenty-five years later The year twenty-sixteen [JENNIFER LAWRENCE] Twenty-sixteen huh? Pats Woody on the back [WOODY HARRELSON] Oh, dude! That's so sweet. I'm telling you guys I smoked a lot of herb, before I came here tonight. Alright we got a great show tonight. Kendrick Lamar is here, so stick around!