Cut For Time: Friendship Song

[Skit: Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant, Tina Fey] Hey, girl Hey... What's going on, babe? Yeah, you seem down You know that girl Donna? Well, I've met her, like, a thousand times And she just introduced herself to me! *gasp* Rude! Yeah, she knows who you are! I know. It's kind of bumming me out... [Verse 1: Kate McKinnon + Tina Fey, Tina & Aidy] I see your sadness and I see your pain (huh!) You can do no wrong, and she's the one to blame And it hurts me to see somebody hurtin' you (huh!) She says she's twenty-seven, but she's thirty-two My words are my knife (my knife, my knife) Said I'm gonna cut deep And I'm gonna rip up her whole life [Chorus 1: Kate McKinnon, Tina Fey, Aidy Bryant] I'm gonna lift you up By tearing her down (hey) I'm gonna dissect all her Instagrams I've found She's try'na have beach waves But doesn't have enough hair When you are down in the gutter I'll join you there (hey) [Skit: Aidy Bryant, Tina Fey, Kate McKinnon, Beck Bennett] Gosh, thank you girls! Honestly, insulting her made me feel so much better Oh my god, it's your ex... Trent came? Hey, good to see you You look good! So do you! Alright, see you around... Ok, wow! A true freak who's obsessed with you [Verse 2: Aidy Bryant + Kate McKinnon, (Kate)] Chica-oo-ha honey C'mon, let's restart He's a small man with an empty heart And he's always talkin' 'bout Paris (croissants) It's like, dude, you did not invent Paris And don't you know He'll die alone in a psyche ward But if you get back together Then we're back on board [Chorus 2: Kate McKinnon, Tina Fey, Aidy Bryant] I'm gonna raise you up (huh!) By blasting his ass Let's go in on his mom Nobody gets a pass That bitch drinks so much They should take her car When my sister has been burned No burn goes too far (hey) [Skit: Tina Fey, Aidy Bryant, Kate McKinnon, Nicki Minaj] Thanks, you guys God, he sucks! Yes! The worst... Wait, is that Tania from your work? I had to cover her shift today Because she said she had a family emergency *gasps* What? Hey guys! What's wrong? Oh, hey, Nicki. We were just talking about this girl-- Oh, girl, I don't even need to know who it is-- [Verse 3: Nicki Minaj] I'll rip up her life, yo, get the knife 'Cause you low-key my wife, you my bitch for life You a ten, she a two, life sucks for her It's goin' down, when we come out, it's up for her Let's punch her in her face and take her jewels It's May, we don't play with them April Fools Uh, you should'a seen her face It was me, Aidy, Katy, and Tina Fey You know you're name stay in a hater mouth, boo I hate her nose, I hate her eyes, I hate her mouth too I hate her stupid wig, I hate her shoes, too Is she ugly, lame, or musty? Choose two Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh ooh Honey, we caught the shade that you threw Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh ooh I love my best friend, bitch, screw you [Chorus 1: Kate McKinnon, Tina Fey, Aidy Bryant] I'm gonna lift you up By tearing them down I'ma hit on all All the flaws we've found You think we're toxic But no, bitch, that's you Don't you know talking sh*t is how We all get through