Heart Attack

[Intro] Knife crimes is near a record high With more than forty blade offenses every day in London At a youth club in South London not far from where someone was stabbed less than twenty-four hours ago He outlined a direct link between violent crimes, social exclusion and austerity A study by City Hall found that London has seen an increase in 71% in victims of serious youth violence since 2012 The Mayor says this is linked to an increase in poverty And the highest rates of violence take placе in some of the poorest boroughs [Verse] Look, I bеt them boys think I'm panickin' Check what my young G's are carrying His blade same length as a javelin I don't know about B-ball or what's happenin' But know that it's fucked if he's travellin' and we see him I can't lie, I was depressed at phases I was nineteen when the team nearly left him faceless Hopin' that we never left no traces You know when you're so damn tired in your house But you can't sleep cah you got pendin' cases I used to love temptin' fate, but now it's temptin' faces For half my career I was part of that My best friend got a burner, and it's lookin' like a artifact Put it in your puffer or your Prada hat Like fuck panic, that's a heart attack Yeah, it's like, life's so fucked in the time that we're in We're fightin' the world, and we're fightin' within Somali dad ran away from a war Now his son's in a war, that's the cycle we're in I know niggas that didn't do time in a bin That have never had freedom of mind, are you sick? 'Round here main way to provide for your kin Is in a flick blade, little push-bike and a sim In London a place where it's nicer to live Is only five minutes out from the guys on the strip Where man make yay' work, heard he a soldier I know that nigga hasn't got balls like Grey Worm As I grow older, change of perspective I gotta stay loyal to my girl, that's the trait she was blessed with Restaurants, raves with my bredrins Life's too short, so we gotta turn up Man talk on my ting for the 'Gram, it's intrusive I never really thought 'bout taking a life 'Til I found out my ex-girl's dad is abusive I felt "How could I be a man and not do shit?" I'm on the way there now, and I don't wanna lose it But fightin' her battle's only hurtin' the girl How can I protect her from the world When I couldn't even protect her from myself? On my grandmother's grave, shit happens again I put a knife through a family friend Most the women that I know had shit happen to them So innocent 'til guilty, ain't somethin' that I have to respect I think back to my youth and I was so ungrateful How many of our parents had dreams they abandoned So they could put food on the table? Intelligent, worthy and able, that's somebody's parent You know? And that affected the way that I see shit Night club toilet, you peed on the seat 'Cause you don't know how it feels when your mom's gotta clean shit And her boss treats her like she don't even mean shit And she gotta wait for the bus in the rain and it's freezin' And Miss said that you would never be shit And you don't wanna cry about dad, but you need him I grew up so fucked, but I didn't even deep it I'm numb to the feelin' of grievin' And man gettin' birded African moms on the floor, just screamin' It's mad 'cah I try so hard Death's got to be easy, cah life's so hard I was twelve wishin' that I was a white man, hard 'Cah if I was then they probably wouldn't life mans dargs I was dead broke, fam, I couldn't swipe mans card And time might pass, but I still gotta stay with it It wasn't his beef, but I see him try claimin' it That's why he caught a bullet with another man's name on it Now he can't do leg day or put strain on it Every time you hear me freestyle, I put pain in it I used to wonder "Does God have favorites?" Touch me, it's dangerous, I wouldn't play with it 'Cause you can go sleep, and have a different type of wake for it I miss my dawgs, unstable You violate Chris? Then rah, turn Chris Benoit Have him hit from far, nah Fill 'em up with bricks and glass, nah My young G's will grip, then blast Have you tried in the street? Fuck findin' my feet I could ride, but it's better when I'm ridin' a beat My emotions are peak, it ain't a sign of defeat or the weak I would've **** you, then cried in my sleep Dropped Juss two racks and told him "Buy the machine" I'm LeBron in Miami, I provide for the heat God strike me if I'm lyin', I ain't cryin' in this beef Unless the tears comin' tatted on the side of my cheek I provide for my peeps, the Lamb' white in the seats So I'm literally a wolf disguised in a sheep You have five figure dreams, I have five figure sleep Five hours more than enough time that I need Man want a fair fight, but I ain't on it when we see him Fuck honour, this revolver is onomatopoeic Let it "Stut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-ter" when you see him Free Scalez, Free C and free my niggas 'til I see 'em I wouldn't wanna be him My old G's roamin', I don't need a colosseum You see it? So I'm playin' it good, let hood politics stay in the hood Fuck the Internet, you see this new generation They're Insta-beefing and I ain't into speakin' When I duck down I had him runnin' in a lift like he missed a meetin' There's no good reason to risk your freedom The yutes dem snitch and them bitches sneakin' She don't wanna talk 'bout friendships She just wanna deal with the pipe like I'm fixin' leakin' And sleep with a legend like Chrissy Teigen Where I'm from the word "Life" has a different meanin' Man smile in your face, but them niggas schemin' Try involve me in a flakey dealin' Sistine Chapel, I'ma paint the ceilin' I been violated and I hate the feelin' That's why nowadays man hates the preachin' We smile in the visit, cah we ain't defeated The Supreme Court's where my mates appealin' I can't breed that girl, that's torture South London, it's just slags on the corner And influencers tryna bag them a baller She a gold-digger, I can tell from her aura Her socials say princess, she a pauper When it's time for it, need more for my daughter Call me a talker, but man are gettin' lined like lambs in the slaughter It's life-threatening and I can tell from the borer Cut through a nigga like a knife though flora Feds got the guys on a case and they stalk us It's a conspiracy like tinfoil hats and a new world order Touch me, better have a life insurer Blood thirsty, I got sharks in the water And trust me, I know a killer whale, no orca Have you ever seen a nightmare brought to life? Where I'm from, you get cheffed on a normal night Men talk on my name, but it's porkie pies I'll really put it in a prick like a porcupine Little bro wanna save for a .45 Go board a flight, there's more to life Yutes on the M6 all the time We don't need TFL for a northern line All the best politicians been taught to lie Where do they buy cocaine when they're snorting white? Are their dealers safe or on the borderline? It's ironic, cah we don't where to draw the line Man see Blue Story, they're mortified Man see Scarface and it's glorified 'Cause when you're black, everything gets scrutinized That's why they call it "Urban", it gets euphemized South London, man are gettin' euthanized I see a yute's demise, I wasn't too surprised He got soaked but his right hand scuba dived Don't die by a sword that you used to shine You can drown for your king, you don't know about Ophelia Cah we got iron, I don't know about anaemia I took the hard road, we don't know 'bout the easier One bag of whores and drug paraphernalia When ends got sticky, had a flicky with Emelia, I mean Olivia This ain't Libya, this ain't Syria You act sillier, we let it seep in your skin like Nivea Who wants to be a millionaire? I won it Never done a gameshow or trivia I done Wandsworth, Erlestoke visitor I done Springhill, Grendon, Swinfen, Whitemoor, Swaleside, Brixton visitor I done M-way trips, done shit that I wish I never did Becah I could have been a prisoner Is this the shit that appeals to the listeners? Road ain't no amazing life The ends full of snakes and jails, just a waste of time I tell my young G's "Take your time" Fuck Jazz, you can really see a major nine Yo, I'm so ashamed of how I used to get figures Man sell you a dream like the road ting's lit And then they leave out the parts where you're burying your niggas Or in jail, wonderin' who's puttin' dick inside your Mrs I'm so fuckin' determined I was in intensive care when I was born, mommy fell down the stairs Whether I was gonna live or not was somethin' uncertain I used the word "Fell", with the commas inverted You see, growin' up I had it far from perfect But nobody did, so I'm a normal person I gotta be grateful, we all have demons and all see angels Or maybe it's me A black yute's more than a face on a screen A number on a laptop or name on a sheet We got stories to tell and got places to be From my heart, that's the makin' of me [Outro] I was selling look, I was selling tomatoes I sat on my two hands I struggled 'cause I didn't want to suffer again I just wanted, it just make me so upset Three times I tried I went to Hannover, they sent me back I tried so much, we have no [?] I was in detention counsel for months at the end, I didn't give up I was not even twenty when I left Africa I was determined to survive I was determined to succeed I didn't know anybody, nobody was ready to help me Even when you were born You were six weeks old, this one is not even Africa, it's this nation I was on the streets for three years They didn't let me see my husband Nobody let me in, nobody in this nation I couldn't pay my rent, deported gangsters carried- I didn't give up, I carried my babies everywhere And now this is happening Pay me back for all those pain that I go through Everyday, I'm in pain, I'm in pain, I'm in pain You see what he's doing to me, you want to kill me, you want to kill me