Pity Party

CHORUS I’m throwing a pity party Fuck you to everybody Unless you feel me pain Don’t even get me started I’m hearing the tick tock Of the big clock I and to pray to the Lord To make this stop I’m throwing a pity party Fuck you to everybody Unless you feel me pain Don’t even get me started I’m hearing the tick tock Of my wrist watch Cut my wrist off And then it stops VERSE What am I doing? Is it worth me pursuing degrees? I don’t even know I'm gon' do if I’m 37 and I’m still a student Can’t focus on music I be comparing myself to my friends I know It's a bad habit I try hard to let it go I admit I been feeling pathetic so I keep on thinking in all hypotheticals Every minute it’s What if I dropped out? What if I stopped now? What if I…? Well where would I be now? And how would my beats sound On Spotify? I try to be grateful After all it’s the first world But when I’m alone and I’m looking on Facebook I feel like a cursed girl Social media show me where I’d rather be Like out on the beach while I’m riding a beat To cover my pain I stay making small talk I remain a big catch in a small pond I should probably log-off But I got a few fans who would pop-off So I stay to give props to the people who got me Support and defend me at all costs The tale is ever so tall That if you be good then you will receive Cuz I’ve been giving my all But I’m still the same exact hue as mystique My passion don’t pay for my lights So I do things I hate and it’s painful it's like I should swallow the red pill and ease my nerves To get rid of the feeling of dreams deferred CHORUS VERSE [Open Mike Eagle] Steadily inhaling blow and exhaust Get where I'm going don't know what it costs Swear in my heart what I'm doing is art How come ain't nobody roping it off? American losing my African-ness Trying to sneak a peak at the abyss I know how to breathe but I don't though And I don't know And I don't know Tell myself shut the fuck up So I can focus on focusing Who am I arguing with though? I dig through the pavement Cuz I want to touch on the earth With the tip of my tip toe Spend half my life in a disco And rappers be telling me get low I'm already there so I get high Forbidding my animal-ness From chasing that vaginal bliss Life is a body mechanic Vestigial teeth in my animal jaw Remind me of handing out mandible claws I might be a ship that never sales Thinking of failure that never fails Everywhere I look I see a degree of associate Doing much better should I look for openness Focus on my shit Focus on focusing Focus my focus on focusing Yeah... CHORUS