The Young British Soldier

When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East 'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier Serve, serve, serve as a soldier Serve, serve, serve as a soldier Serve, serve, serve as a soldier So-oldier ~OF~ the Queen! Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may: A soldier what's fit for a soldier Fit, fit, fit for a soldier First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts -- Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts -- An' it's bad for the young British soldier Bad, bad, bad for the soldier When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt -- Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out An' it crumples the young British soldier Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead: You ~must~ wear your 'elmet for all that is said: If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier Fool, fool, fool of a soldier If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind; Be handy and civil, and then you will find That it's beer for the young British soldier Beer, beer, beer for the soldier Now, if you must marry, take care she is old -- A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told For beauty won't help if your rations is cold Nor love ain't enough for a soldier 'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! -- Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier Curse, curse, curse of a soldier When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck And march to your front like a soldier Front, front, front like a soldier When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch; She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich An' she'll fight for the young British soldier Fight, fight, fight for the soldier When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine The guns o' the enemy wheel into line Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine For noise never startles the soldier Start-, start-, startles the soldier If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white Remember it's ruin to run from a fight: So take open order, lie down, and sit tight And wait for supports like a soldier Wait, wait, wait like a soldier When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains And the women come out to cut up what remains Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains An' go to your Gawd like a soldier