Nightmare

This the only therapy I've really got the time for Designing these rhymes, as i write in a psych ward Sick of fucking skitzin out, Valium won't sit me down Sick of feeling guilty, never ever meant to put you down It wasn't me you see my personality is splitting up Baby I'm not crazy I'm ashamed of all the shit I've done And I ain't given up on life, watch me scribble up a rhyme I try and fight it but I hide it all inside See whats happened in my mind I'm in rehab cause of ice And I'm feeling like I'm dreaming i don't need another high Today I seen my mother cry I don't need another lie My brother come to visit couldn't look him in the fuckin eyes I had to struggle by I suffered from these nightmares I never told you anything I'm knowing that you guys care Sarah standing there and I'm happy that she never left She knows I got potential but she's seeing that I'm just a mess What a wreck I need to get it off my chest Took a pack of Panadeine four Lucky that I cheated death Wish that I could take it back All that fucking crazy crap Wish I never carried on What I'm gonna say to dad All I'd have to do is sit him down and he would start to listen But I'm scared to tell him cause he's got a heart condition This is far from whinging, right now I'm locked up In a mental home, and they feeding me a lot of drugs And this is hard to admit cause I'm faster But my target is to be a better man no more startin shit No more sparkin spliffs No more fucking harder shit No more being violent over comments like my father did The violent episodes I'm having man I'm not that guy Scott, Sarah, Troy, Dad, Mum, I apologise And that is not a lie Never did I compromise Dad I see the mirror and its telling me I got your eyes I really wanna try Didn't really wanna die Didn't wanna end it all, but the thought it crossed my mind Safer if I'm locked inside, don't throw away the key Give me a couple months and try it just to wait and see Don't need to prove myself, Ratesy never lost a fight How would you feel if I woke up and I lost my life Hate it how I feel inside Hate it how I'm really nice Hate it how I turned into this person that can deal with life Hate it how I dreamed about the shit that happened years ago Hate it how your scared to talk to me you shouldn't fear me no I know I carry on a lot Smashing walls and them I drop Another pill I'm gonna pop Whens this ever gonna stop Brother can you help me out Never have you let me down Never have you turned your back Appreciate it let it out This fucking gimmick has me spinning, tripping out All these meds I've gotta take i really wanna spit em out Sarah yeah I love you girl Doing it for mum as well All the drugs I've taken to escape it gonna fuck my health Not with me with drugs it isn't helping man I need to talk I see the blood I hear the screams its dreaming but I see it all I wanna change my life I'm dangerous and crazy inside Lately I hate it, contemplating should I take my life People have it worse than me, I know it but it hurts to see Me turn into this person thats so hurtful when i wake from dreams I wake up in a cold sweat, Sarahs there to hold my hand Told her things i didn't mean its tearing out my whole chest I'm kinda scared cause your telling me I'm fucked up Its fucking bullshit meet my family its just us My dads sick its stressing me These dreams get the best of me They give me down and in an hour get my therapy What to tell my fans would they ever understand That I'm doing this and hiding out to be a better man Did they ever really care Yeah I've got my family there And I'm lucky that I'm knowing that they'll be here till the end I need to seek and find Just a little peace of mind You need to fill your fucking puzzle mother fucker have a piece of mine Say that I'm intimidating Charge me with intimidation Drop the charges, motherfuckers getting help and sick of waiting I wrote this track to speak my mind so say I'm not real Place the blame on drug abuse and say its cause I pop pills Say that I am faking it, you put up with these hot chills Once you've gone and done that you tell me how you gonna feel Another dream tonight Speak to demons I need to find a happy medium and yeah I need to cry I admit that I'm sitting here dripping tears As I disappear another pipe to stay crystal clear After this I can certainly say that I am tough If your thinking otherwise you can go and get fucked!