Fathers Day

[Verse 1: Propain] Bougie folks I'm feeling out of place But I heard they got Italian foods you gotta taste Chandeliers in every table got a pasta dish Dressed in suits, I swear this shit look like a mobster flick (I'm Rick & I'll be here to serve & take your order Would you like Red Wine? some liquor? maybe water? The artichoke's delicious sir' & it's great for starters!) I'm actually meeting someone here, I'll just wait to order Matter fact I'll take some vodka when you bring that toast & -- (Sir'? Sir'?!) Staring at the man, I just seen walk between them doors The way my body froze out, you swear you think I seen a ghost! So familiar, looking like someone I seen before Same eyes, even nose, same size ring & clothes Mama always told me that the first impressions mean the most But I been waiting my whole fucking life to let these demons go! My body numb as he approaches I grew up in the slums with the roaches cause this bum left me hopeless! No, santa at my door, just a fucking eviction notice! God damn mayne, let me gain my focus, fuck! He walk up extend his hand, and look me in the eye I accept, while tryna hide the evil in disguise! Cause truth be told I wanna tell him come meet me outside! Put a cannon to his temple, cocked, squeeze & watch you die! (Hey, how've you been son?) How I been?! Man what the hell you mean?! You don't know me! How you act concerned for one you've never seen?! Where the fuck was you when I was young & had to grow with fiends?! House full of junkies mayne, I swear my crib was Medellín It's all nightmares in the gutta, we don't ever dream, never smile! (Shh, Shh, Shh, son, son) Bitch you could get it too, & that's on everything! I hate you nigga, I can't say it no other way! (Whoah hey, calm down) I hope you never live to see another day! (Calm down) Nice to meet you ho! [Verse 2: Propain] I feel the pain as I enter the room The sudden change of scene, got my mental confused Looking hopeless & stiff in a tube It seem like yesterday we met, today you gotta live through a tube Looking up to God, am I missing the clues? I hoped he die, but I didn't know that my wish would come true! But then again as I'm looking at him full of drugs That resent me, built up in me, whispered "pull the plug" I grew up lost & out of tone, tryna move with thugs Anyone who took me in, funny what we do for love Poor as shit, shoes looking like them hoes been through the mud! Mama can't afford herself, fuck she suppose to do with us?! No gifts for christmas, birthdays, no calls from you! No pitch & catch, all that bullshit that a father do! Word out, you got another son & a daughter too But left me out to dry, bitch you wonder why my heart removed?! But what if that's false? What if that part confused? What if mama lying, & just wanted me far apart from you?! What if you was locked up, wrote me, but I ain't read the kite? (groans) Wake yo' ass up dawg, don't leave me twice! Knees starting to buckle A face full of sickness I'm acting like I'm perfect, all this fake shit I committed All the lies that I done told, all these games I played with bitches Who the fuck was I to judge?! I should be getting a sentence So that's the past now, [?] Honor thy father, it's in the bible, even if they ain't did shit Could a been avoided for a few of them dollas Never made it out that clinic Now I stay with so much to say, but not too much time & now it's too late Happy Fathers Day!