My Name Is Mud

My name is Mud Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis My name is mud and it's always been Cause I'm the most boring sonsabitch you've ever seen I dress in blue-yes navy blue From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes I make 'em shine, well most the time 'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine Six foot two and rude as hell I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell My name is Mud My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie That's long for Mud so I've been told Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold I've got my pride, I drink my wine I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months Or were it years The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears We had our words, a common spat So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat My name is Mud