Beer Monster

[Verse One] Alcohol was my gateway drug to Tylenol The reason you would ever see me up in the mall With a big brown bag that says "Not to drink and drive" And sometimes I'm surprised that I made it home alive Cause the city has always been slapping me around Trying to hide but so easily found Like a pound of bud trying to sneak over the boarder Found and stopped, they must regain order I'm not here, nudge nudge, wink wink The only time I'm present is chasing weed with drink You think I'm negative? Then you're underestimating Been in talks with the devil renegotiating He can see that he's got a bright future in me I'm a terrible person you wouldn't want to be Got a secret life outside hip hop and work My private symphony, all alone doing dirt So I drink To keep my tooth ache shy But it's a social butterfly, living in a pigsty Dentist's don't fuck with me I can't call it Or they be pulling all credit cards out the wallet In the meantime I eat Tylenol 3 If you were in my shitty shoes I'm sure you'd agree That somehow you gotta dull the thumping sickness And the pain leaves fast like the money with the quickness When I drink [Scratching] "Now sometimes I try to put it down and back away" "Why oh why do I live this way?" [Hook] I drink to keep from worrying Smile to keep from crying It's a mean old world that almost stopped me from trying I got trapped in a haze of booze and weed Lost my focus, no longer knew what I need And I would feed the beer monster whenever it asked Single malt, always in a Pip Skid flask Similar to my mom, a person I hold dear She could hold her rye and I could hold my beer [Verse Two] Tormented by my conscious, wouldn't want it another way But holy shit, this is a fucked up day I'ma stay home, pace around my bachelor pad I'm like a really good, anti-marijuana ad Looking bad But had to release the pressure Clothes all on the floor like I was protesting dresser Hiding out, P-noid like Nice & Smooth Looking through the peep hole thinking it's time to move Eating some stupid shit at a stupid hour But the world pushes me to be bitter and sour Force a smile and put a flame to that thickness And the pain leaves fast like the money with the quickness When I smoke [Scratching] "Now sometimes I try to put it down and back away" "Why oh why do I live this way?" [Verse Three] Used to start my night off with a liter of Strongbow It ends me bugging the DJ, "Could you play another song? No?" On so much drama, I'm like hotel linen But you don't wanna eat then immediately go swimming So I would wait at least two before I'd drown my system I saw Pharcyde play back in the day but I missed 'em I blamed it on E that used to coat my throat But I was young and had the stomach lining of a goat And my theory was that if I drank quality beers I'd give my wafer thin body a couple more years And a couple years is all I got, now I get sick When I tip the yeasty bottle to my skinny little lips Slumped over, can't breathe, break out in hives Being forced off the liquor was a blessing in disguise Instead I exercise try to fix my mistakes You gotta listen to your body when it puts on the breaks When I think [Scratching] "Now sometimes I put it down and back away" "Why oh why do I live this way?" [Hook] I drink to keep from worrying Smile to keep from crying It's a mean old world that almost stopped me from trying I got trapped in a haze of booze and weed Lost my focus, no longer knew what I need And I would feed the beer monster whenever it asked Jaegermeister, always in a Pip Skid flask Similar to my mom, a person I hold dear She could hold her rye and I could hold my beer [Scratching] "Why oh why do I live this way?" "Now sometimes I try to put it down and back away, but it be calling me" [Outro] "If that's your idea of an ambassador, we're headed for a lot of trouble"