Bangers and Mash

Him: I met 'er down in Napoli and didn't she look great And so I brought 'er back to Blighty just to show me mates And though we're married 'appily, I'll tell ya furthermore I 'aven't 'ad a decent meal since Nineteen-Forty-Four! Her: Eat your minestrone, Joe! Him: That's all you ever say! Her: Eat your macaroni, Joe! Him: Ev'ry blinkin' day! Her: No wonder you're so boney, Joe And skinny as a rake! Him: Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make! Him: Bangers and mash Her: Minestrone Him: Bangers and mash Her: Macaroni Him: Give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make! Her: Eat your tagliatelli, Joe! Him: That's all I've 'eard for years! Her: Eat your vermicelli, Joe! Him: It's comin' out me ears! Her: You've got to fill your belly, Joe! Joe, for heaven's sake! Him: Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make! Her: Well, alright! Him: Bangers and mash Her: Tagliatelli Him: Bangers and mash Her: Vermicelli Him: Ah, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me muvver used to make! (Spoken. All voices by Sellers): American reporter: Nineteen-Forty-Three, Allied Forces land in Italy! 1st soldier: There's a smashin'-lookin' bird over there, Bert. I think she's showin' out there 2nd soldier: Well, why don't you chat 'er up then? 1st soldier: Right! Bongourno Signorina now. 'Ere, are you married? Italian Girl: (Unintellible reply) 1st soldier: There y'are. Can't 'ave a fairer answer than that, can ya! Her: I met him back in Italy, so dashing and good-looking He wined me and he dined me ev'ry night He said I smiled so prettily and how he loved my cooking But since he's married me, it seems he's lost his appetite Him (Italian accent): Eat your tagliatelli, Joe! Her (Cockney accent): That's all you ever say! Ooohhhhh! Him: Eat your vermicelli, Joe! Her: Ev'ry bloomin' day! Him: You've a-got to fill your belly, Joe! Joe, for heaven's sake! Her: Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash your muvver used to make! Him: Bangers and mash Her: Minestrone Him: Bangers and mash Her: Macaroni Him: Give me a bash with the bangers and mash! Her: (Laughing) Him: Like the same one what your mother was! Her: (Laughing) Him: What you laughing at now? Her: (Laughing) Him: (Indistinct) . . . . . Please! - - - -