Any Old Iron

Any old iron? Any old iron? Any, any, any old iron? You look neat. Talk about a treat! You look so dapper from your napper to your feet Dressed in style, brand-new tile And your father's old green tie on But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain Old iron, old iron!" Just a week or two ago my dear old Uncle Bill He went and kicked the bucket and he left me in his will So I went around the road to see my Auntie Jane She said: "Your Uncle Bill has left you a watch and chain!" So I put it on right across my derby kell The sun was shining on it and it made me look a swell I went out, strolling round about A crowd of kiddies followed me and they began to shout: "Any old iron? Any old iron? Any, any, any old iron? You look neat. Talk about a treat! You look so dapper from your napper to your feet Dressed in style, brand-new tile And your father's old green tie on But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain Old iron, old iron!" I won't forget the day I went to London on the spree I saw the mayor of London there. That's who I went to see He came along in a carriage and a pair I shouted: "Come on, boys! All throw your hats up in the air!" Just then the mayor, he began to smile Pointed to my face and said: "Lor Lummy, what a dial!" Started Lord-a-mayoring, and then to my dismay He pointed to my watch and chain and shouted to me: "Hey Any old iron? Any old iron? Any, any, any old iron? You look neat. Talk about a treat! You look so dapper from your napper to your feet Dressed in style, brand-new tile And your father's old green tie on But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain Old iron, old iron!" I shan't forget the day I married Miss Elisa Brown The way the people laughed at me, it made me feel a clown I arrived in a carriage called a hack When I suddenly discovered I'd my trousers front to back So I walked down the aisle, dressed in style The vicar took a look at me and then began to smile The organ started playing. The bells began to ring The people started laughing and the choir began to sing: "Any old iron? Any old iron? Any, any, any old iron? You look neat. Talk about a treat! You look so dapper from your napper to your feet Dressed in style, brand-new tile And your father's old green tie on But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain Old iron, old iron!"