Bells

I am sad and grateful I am lonely and rejoicing I ring the bells alone, I ring the bells for you Forgive me the impermanence of my joy And the permanence of my joy I am present in my truth Though you were right, I lost myself I abide in my discomfort And in everything you gave me I can try to hide from suffering But I know that won't save me I must count it all as joy I must let love be love in me I can be strong, I can be kind I can be good to myself and anyone who lets me Now I am simple, I am alone Like a pale flower floating on the surface Of the wide sea the world drives between all of our hearts The one you must navigate in order to love In trying to swim there but refusing to let go We weighed each other down and eventually we drowned We can speak the words of women and angels But without real love, it's just sad noise I can open my heart and let everything out But that won't save me - I'll just be empty I am raw and awed and frightened In the presence of my truth I am sitting with my fear I am reverent in its light I am starting where I am I move forward on my own And I ring the bells alone But with only you in mind