No Friend

These old letters from years ago I felt it was leading to a [...] When I wrote this [...] I may have been finally able to address how it feels Another brick-red room Another black-top town Another misspelled band burning their own houses down Another pine-box tune to fill the cemetery day another stay A touch of orange over purgatory gray Another thorny field to scatter fruitless seed Another song that runs too long God knows no one needs more misguided ghosts More transparent hands to drop a nickel in our basket and we'll do our riot! dance beneath another burning sky Behind our painted lips in scares catatonic smile-covered ankle-bitten ships So throw your pedestal of stone in the forgetful sea as protection from the paper-thin Perfection you project on me when this repetition ends behind the window shades A semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I've made That most unrestful bed That most original of sins and you'll say that's what I get when I let ambition win again I'd hate to let you down so I'll let the waters rise and drown my dull reflection in the naive expectation in your eyes back in a cast bit-part Back when I felt most free I had a butcher's heart and no one thought they knew me So before the regiment resumes Before the dreaded sun appears My driver's waiting so let's make one point crystal clear: You see a flood-lit form I see a shirt design I'm no savior of yours and you're no friend of mine You're no friend of mine You're no friend of mine I'm no savior of yours and you're no friend of mine You see a flood-lit form I see a shirt design I'm no savior of yours and you're no friend of mine I see myself in the reflection of people's eyes Realising what they see may not be even close to the image I see in myself And I hate I might actually be more afraid [...] I feel like they know the story I saw a bear floating in the river and thought it was a fur coat Twelve years ago I stood on the shore Jump in and grab the coat And the river is rushing toward a waterfall And my friend stood at the shore and shouted to let go of the coat and swim back to land I let go of the coat but the coat won't let go of me In any case please let me know if there's more I can give you If nothing comes of it, then just know we are grateful